Ep #4: The One Thing Your Clients Actually Want

Hi, I’m Lindsay Dotzlaf and you are listening to Mastering Coaching Skills, episode four.

To really compete in the coaching industry, you have to be great at coaching. That’s why every week, I will be answering your questions, sharing my stories, and offering tips and advice so you can be the best at what you do. Let’s get to work.

Coaches, welcome back. I am going to talk to you today about one of my very favorite topics. But before I get started, I just wanted to say something. I am recording this episode a day or two after the launch of my first three episodes. We released them a couple days ago from when I’m recording this with the first three episodes.

What that means is I’m just sitting here in my closet, as you heard, just having a little bit of a vulnerability hangover. The love that I have received from all of you over the last couple days, just in my inboxes, in my text messages, my emails, all the places, I could not be more grateful.

Messages from coaches, from friends, relatives who aren’t actually coaches at all but listen just to support me and said that they listened to all three because they love them, that is so, so fun for me. You guys are literally blowing my mind.

Last night actually, after I put my kids to bed, I opened the phone to a few messages from friends and I just started crying. And the tears – I’m actually still a little hoarse, so if you can hear that today, I apologize. There’s just raw emotion.

It just took over me a little bit. I started crying and the tears literally just wouldn’t stop for a couple hours. And I think I freaked my husband out just a little bit. He kept asking me if I was okay, and are these happy tears or sad tears. And all I could say was, “Yes.” He said, “Are they happy?” I said, “Yes.” He said, “Are they sad?” I said, “Yes.”

It was just emotion kind of all over the place. And once it started coming out, it just wouldn’t stop. So, that’s where we are today. I’m feeling much better. And I took some time to think about it this morning and here’s what I know. My deepest, deepest truth is that I feel just so incredibly grateful to the coaching community that I’m surrounded by.

Just the coaching community in general, all coaches that I know, all of you who are listening, all of you who I don’t know, this podcast really just feels like the most beautiful way to express my gratitude and a way to give back to the industry that I am so grateful to be in. And it truly does feel like it is the least I could do.

So, as I was thinking through it this morning, I thought, you know, what emotions am I feeling? And they are kind of all over the place. I feel mostly loved, so loved, all of the messages I’ve received, all of the feedback, all of the support. It was a little overwhelming.

And I have to say, that mixed with just a little terrified to put my thoughts, my ideas that you guys might not always agree with, just to put that out into the world. And a little relieved to be on the other side of the launch and have gotten through and had a lot of fun.

So, I may be a coach, but I have a human brain and I’m still just a human that experiences all of the emotions. So, thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope I have a chance to meet all of you someday in person, give you the biggest hug. And I’m not really a hugger, so this is pretty big. So, thank you. Let’s move on.

Today, I want to talk about one of my favorite topics, which is the one thing your clients want. There’s only one thing. It’s so simple. Do you know what it is? They want to know that you can help them. That’s it. They just want to know that you can help them.

They want to hire you for whatever you are saying you do or you help your clients with. And they want to do that just in hope that you know what you’re doing and that you can help them.

This is why I’m so passionate about what I do and what I teach my clients. I think that in this industry, there are so many places you can go to learn coaching methods, coaching processes, specific, very specific things, certifications, all of it. There are all the places you can go to learn. And you do get practice applying a lot of times in those programs.

There are also a lot of places you can go to learn how to make money and learn how to market. And in the future, we’ll be talking to some of those coaches on this podcast. It’s going to be so fun. I love all of these things. I have done all of them. I have paid money for all of them.

But what I really find is there’s kind of this missing piece in the middle, which is where I come in, to say, okay, you know how to coach, you know how to make money, or you want to make money, but taking the coaching from the learning to the actual application, to the application of being on calls with real-life human clients who show up weird sometimes and don’t act exactly like you expect them to.

I help you take the learning and take it into application, to really know what to do in any situation. And I just feel so passionate about it. I think every client deserves a chance to work with an amazing coach.

And I think sometimes, when coaches step out of this and they forget the one thing their client wants, it becomes so easy for you guys to get in your own heads and think mostly about your business and how do I make the money and how do I make more money and what’s the next thing I need to learn and, like really focusing on the business side.

And so, I’m just here to be the friendly reminder that says, “No, no come back. Come back over here, just for a minute.” Not that you can’t do the other things. Absolutely, it’s also part of running a business. But I love to be the coach that’s like, “No, no, come on, back over here. Let’s talk about your clients for a little bit. Let’s focus on your coaching.” Because, to me, it is the most important thing because it is the one thing that your clients want.

Now, some of you might want to argue with me about this and say it’s not that simple, this isn’t all they want. And I will tell you, you are not alone. I’ve had lots of clients who I’ve had this conversation with. And what I’ll say is if you hang around me long enough, I will absolutely convince you that this is true, hopefully starting today.

Sometimes, one reason a lot of my clients and some coaches want to argue with me is they’re like, “No, no but when someone wants to hire me or even when they are my client, they have all these other questions. They want to know other things.” But really, all of them, any question they ask you when they’re thinking of hiring you, any question they ask you that isn’t about the coaching, once you’re even in the coaching relationship, it all comes from the place of, “I just hope you can help me.”

So, you guys love to overcomplicate this, but here’s some of the things – I’m going to go through a list of some of the things that I find coaches think their clients care about that they don’t. And I’m going to preempt this with I’m not saying don’t ever focus on these things. What I am saying is don’t focus on them instead of make them more important then focusing on your coaching skills.

So, here’s a list of some to of the things that you might think your clients really care about. What type of certification you have, or if you have one at all. I have so many clients that say to me, “What if she asks if I have a certification? What if she wants to know what type of certification I have?” I’m like, “Yeah, what if? Answer her. It’s no problem.”

You think they want to know up front what your process is or what platform you use when you’re coaching. Maybe you think they want to know how many clients you have or how much money you’ve made. For sure, a lot of you think that your clients care about your website or how amazing your pictures are or your branding. They don’t.

Maybe you think your clients care about things like where you live or how old you are, you’re too young to be a great coach or you’re too old to be a great coach. They don’t. Those are all just your thoughts.

Maybe you think your clients care about if you have a podcast or an amazing funnel or lots of free giveaways. They don’t care about those either. All they care about is if you can help them. Remember this. It’s so important.

And like I said, some of those things, a lot of those things will come into play in your business at some point. And the other thing is, when you think about that list, one, sometimes there may be an exception of if one of those things does actually affect your ability to coach your clients, then yes, they might care about it.

So, for example, if you are 22 and you’re a menopause coach. That’s a thing. There are menopause coaches. I don’t know if you knew that. But if you’re 22, you’ve never experienced menopause, you’re probably not going to be – your clients might care about that. They might not hire you. They might go look for someone else who kind of knows what they’re going through.

Or let’s say, if you, for example, want to teach entrepreneurs how to make money, and you as an entrepreneur, as a coach have not made money, your clients might care about that. So, there are some things. But they don’t actually care about that thing. They care that it may affect if you can help them or not.

Your clients want to know, when they hire you, that the discomfort they experience, which maybe that’s paying you, maybe it’s taking the time out of their day to do the work or committing to the process, they want to know that it will be worth their end result. That’s literally all they care about.

That’s how we make decisions when we’re buying pretty much anything. We want to know the level of discomfort I have to experience to make this decision, will it be worth it for the end result?

So, I want you to think about this. How much time do you spend thinking about how to help your clients versus how much time do you spend thinking about some of or all of those things that I mentioned a minute ago?

Now, I’m not saying you sped 100% of your time only thinking about your clients. What I am saying is don’t, if it seems very disproportionate, if you’re spending zero time thinking about your clients and your coaching skills and how you help them and you’re spending a ton of time thinking and worrying and stressing about your business and all the other things, that’s just something to examine.

And it does not have to be difficult. This can be super-simple. You can focus on your coaching method, coach yourself using it, spend time thinking about your clients and getting in their mind, and creating a coaching practice that you love. Does that sound familiar? That was the first three episodes. If you haven’t listened, go back and do that because this is the way.

I’ve given you the steps. You can go back and listen. You can practice those exercises that I gave you in the first three episodes. You can do that a little bit every day and it will create this feeling for your clients when they come to you where they feel comfort in buying coaching or in continuing to coach with you because they will truly believe that you can help them. And that really is all they care about.

So, here is what happens when you step out of this truth or when you forget that the number one thing your clients care about is if you can help them. When you forge this, this is how I see it show up for coaches. And of course, some of these things, I’m sure that they are happening to you probably right now, or they have in the past. That’s no problem.

Of course, these things come up because building a business is not a walk in the park, or everyone would do it, right? Alright, let’s go through them. So, here are some examples. This is how you know when you’ve forgotten what your clients want.

When you have a niche that you love and you feel passionate about it, but you want to change it or you often think about changing it because other coaches are making more money than you. My friend, it is not their niche that’s making them money, I promise. It’s their brain. It’s them being really great at what they do. That should be your goal, not changing your niche.

When you spend hours and hours and days perfecting your copy or your website or your logo at the expense of spending time thinking about your clients and how to help them. You think that’s the most important thing is to work on all of the other things so that your business is pretty and your website is pretty. Your clients don’t actually care about that.

When you spend half your day looking for the next program you’re going to buy or the coach to hire or whatever some shiny new object is that you’re currently devoting your attention to because you think it’s going to be the answer. It’s probably not.

When the top emotions you experience in your business are confusion, worry, or doubt. Normally, when you’re spending time thinking about your clients and how to coach them and why they need you, you won’t feel these emotions.

When the actual coaching part of your business is your least favorite part of the day. So, if you would rather spend time working on some of the other things that I was talking about, this is a sign that you’re forgetting that the coaching is actually the most important piece.

Or, last one, where you’re constantly rearranging your offers or reconfiguring how you work with your clients because they are telling you what they want, instead of deciding what is best for them from a place of knowing and then sticking to it.

So, if any of these resonate, don’t worry. Do not freak out. You are not alone. This is totally common and you can turn it around starting right now today. Go back, listen to the first three episodes, even if you already listened. Do the exercises. Schedule them in. Do them every day. Schedule in five or 10 minutes. It doesn’t have to be, I’m not suggesting you do it for two hours. Maybe just do it a couple times a week. But if you’re not doing it at all right now, for sure this work is for you.

And I’m kind of laughing about this in my mind as I say it because I’ve had several, several colleagues – hi, loves if you’re listening – I’ve had them reach out to me. They’re making a lot of money. They’re my colleagues. They’re in masterminds with me. And they have very successful coaching businesses and they have messaged me and said, “Oh my gosh, episode one broke my brain. I don’t even know how to do it.”

I’m like, wait, what? Stop it. Go back. Do the exercises. Tell your brain you do know how. This is just a silly example, but just know you’re in good company. Sometimes we just forget to think about these things. It’s no problem. This is why I’m here.

So, here’s what happens on the other side of this, when you do remember that the most important thing to your clients is that you can help them, here’s what you experience and what will start happening in your business. And if you resonate with these, this is how you kind of already know, I am doing this, I am remembering that there’s only one thing my clients want.

You stress less about your marketing and about all the other pieces of your business. You let it just be a little messy because you know it doesn’t matter as much as your coaching. I will be the very first coach to tell you marketing has never been my forte. It is just not my number one skill.

This is how I got here, where I am, is I decided to lean into this other piece. It’s like, “Okay, the marketing, I don’t know, I don’t know if it’s great. I’m going to keep putting myself out there. But I’m going to spend so much time focusing on my skills that I can have the worst marketing and people are still going to want to hire me.”

Obviously, I’m not saying you avoid marketing. You still have to do it, right? People need to know that you’re a coach and what you do, what I’m saying is you just let it be a little messy. You don’t need to stress over it.

Another thing that happens is you end up spending way less money in your business hiring people you don’t need. For example, web designers, branding experts, copywriters, expensive photographers. All of these people are amazing. For sure, hire them. But if you aren’t making a lot of money in your business, do not go out, there’s no reason to go out and spend tens of thousands of dollars on all of these people when your clients don’t care at all. I promise you, I made well over six figures before I spent money on any of the things I just mentioned.

And here’s my favorite. When you really hone in and focus on your coaching skills, you know what happens? Your clients get results. When your clients get results, they want to keep working with you. So, they will rehire you. They will work with you again. Spending on your niche. Some niches are a little more like one and done type coaching situations. But clients will rehire you. But they’ll also refer people to you.

If your clients are getting insane, incredible results, they’re going to tell their friends. They’re going to tell their family. And believe me, when I hired my first coach, I’m not kidding, like 20 of my friends hired her because I couldn’t stop talking about her, right? I was like, “She is changing my life. My mind is blown. How is this happening? How have I never had a life coach? Everyone needs one.” People started hiring her.

You will feel amazing about raising your prices when it’s time. I get this question all the time. Like, should I raise my prices? Should I raise my prices to meet my goals? Should I – all the pricing questions.

When you are masterful at your coaching craft, first of all, you’ll just kind of know when it’s time to raise your prices. And second, when you do, you might have to work through some thoughts about the actual price, but you won’t have drama about is my coaching worth it? You will just know it, in the pit of your stomach you will know, “I am a good coach. Of course, I raise my prices. This is just what my price is.”

You’ll feel calm and confident in your coaching skills and while you’re coaching, you won’t feel exhausted after coaching your clients. You won’t feel like you need a nap by noon. Your brain just won’t have to work as hard on calls or while you’re coaching because you’ll just feel so confident in your skills.

And when you spend lots of time focusing on what your clients want and how to be the best coach for them, you’ll always feel confident when someone asks you what you do and how you help your people. And most importantly, last one, out of anything you take away from this today, if you believe that knowing how to help your clients is the most important thing, do you know what will happen? You will help your clients.

Your clients will keep getting results. And when your clients get results, literally everything about your business is easier. Then when you do focus some of your energy on a lot of those other things that I mentioned, it feels so much more fun. You know your clients are getting results, you know exactly what you do. And when you’re in that place in your business, it’s so much more fun than, “I don’t really know what I do. I don’t even know if my clients are getting results…” all of that, “Let me just go make my website instead.”

That sounds great, until you try to write copy from a place of, “I don’t know if my clients are getting results.” That is not my idea of a good time.

So, to sum it up, if you feel a little called out right now, or a little, “I don’t know what she’s talking about. Of course, I have to focus on all these things,” I just want you to try it. Try for a week or two weeks putting some focus, scheduling some time thinking about your clients, making sure you know how to help them.

Go back and listen to the first three episodes if you need and just see what happens. Just try it. It’s not going to hurt, right? And if you’re already all over this work and you love thinking about your clients and you love coaching mastery and you want to take it all a little bit deeper, I do have mastermind called Coaching Masters. Definitely go check that out on my website. This is where I really help coaches do this work and lean into their own mastery.

And don’t forget, if you have any questions, anything you’d love me to talk about, love me to cover on this podcast in an upcoming episode, send an email to podcast@lindsaydotzlafcoaching.com and I will pick some questions to answer on the podcast. I will do some Q&As and we already have some great, amazing questions coming in. It’s giving me some really good ideas for content and I just love to know that I’m talking specifically about stuff that you guys want to hear.

So, send me an email. It can be anonymous if you want. I’m not going to come find you. But I will, if you want me to, I will give you a shoutout on the podcast. I just think it will be so fun. I can’t wait to dive in and get all your questions answered. Thank you so much. I will talk to you next week.

Thanks for listening to this episode of Mastering Coaching Skills. If you want to learn more about my work, come visit me at lindsaydotzlafcoaching.com. That’s Lindsay with an A, D-O-T-Z-L-A-F.com. See you next week.