Ep #55: Making Decisions as the Coach

Hey, this is Lindsay Dotzlaf and you are listening to Mastering Coaching Skills episode 55.

To really compete in the coaching industry, you have to be great at coaching. That’s why every week, I will be answering your questions, sharing my stories, and offering tips and advice so you can be the best at what you do. Let’s get to work.

Okay, let’s dive in today. I’m excited to talk about this today, it’s something that I’ve had on my mind for a while and it just feels like now’s the time to share it. So this is something I teach in my mastermind a little more in depth, but we’re going to talk about the difference between decisions you make for your business that are for you versus decisions you make in your business that are for your clients, and probably you too, right?

You’re not going to make decisions that are bad for you in your business. But just the difference of when to consider is this for my clients or is this just for me? And there are some decisions that we make in our businesses that are just for us.

So for example, and just notice if you get a little squirmy when I say some of these things, but stay on because I’m going to explain what I mean and hopefully, by the end you’ll agree with me, even if it feels a little uncomfortable. So here are the decisions in our businesses that we make just for us, just for ourselves.

The price, our offer, our refund policy, our payment plans, the structure of our coaching, the times we do calls. And some of this will apply whether you own your own coaching business or you coach for someone else, you’re still going to have decisions that you make. You might make them with the person that you work for. But there are still decisions that you make that just benefit you.

So an easy one that I’m guessing you wouldn’t argue with is the times you do calls. You probably don’t do calls at 2am with your clients, unless that’s just your favorite time of day. And you’re just up at 1am every day and you start your day at two. I don’t know anyone that does this, but I’m sure it’s a possibility.

But you aren’t usually going to just structure your business in a way that’s like, yeah, it’s really whatever works for my clients, I will just do it. If you own your own business, as you grow your business you might make changes.

So in the beginning of my business I was more flexible with this. I did some evening calls, I did an occasional weekend call. But now I do not work on the weekends, unless of course there’s an emergency. But I just don’t really ever do calls on the weekends. And I also don’t do them usually after around, let’s say like four o’clock. Because I would say my coaching effectiveness probably goes down.

Now, there are a couple times when I’ve coached in other people’s communities or for my colleagues and maybe it’s a different time zones so it’s in the evening. And I accommodate for that, I make sure to rest during the day. So it is something I do every once in a while. But these are the types of decisions that we just make for us. And we just let the client decide, is this for me, or is it not? So that’s an example of that.

On the other side, there are decisions that we make that are still for us, but they’re also for our clients. And the difference, why this matters, because I’m not really a business coach, I’m here to talk about being a great coach, your coaching skills. Why this matters, is that the decisions that are just for you in your business, those shouldn’t really be open to coaching your clients on.

What I mean by that is you shouldn’t be trying to convince your clients that these things are for them. Because they’re not, they are for you, and I’m going to talk a lot more about this. But first, I’m going to tell you the other side, which is decisions that we make that are for us and for our clients.

So that might be your make-up call schedule, how your clients reschedule their calls. What to do if they miss a call. Are they allowed to miss calls in a group setting? I mean, hopefully they’re allowed to miss some, but like what happens? Do you have replays? Do they have to be on camera if you do calls over Zoom or over the internet? And maybe the way you support your clients between calls. The added things you do or don’t do. Those are just some examples.

Those are the things that might be open to coaching your clients on if they don’t like how you do it. You might be like, let me show you why this is actually best for you. They don’t have to agree, but you can show them like, here’s why I made this decision with you in mind.

Okay, so let’s go back to the first group. So one thing that always makes my clients in my mastermind I think squirm just a little bit when I teach this is that price is just a business decision, it is for you. Now, a small caveat here is that every decision you make, of course, you keep your clients in mind when you’re making them. Depending on what your niche is, that could affect your price possibly. Or like what you’re selling will affect your price.

If you’re selling a program or a course, for example, and your clients don’t have a lot of interaction with you at all, that’s probably a lower price because of that. If you are selling something that’s more of an introductory type thing, it might be a lower price. But that’s not necessarily for your clients, it just is because it matches what you’re delivering. It matches the value, it matches your thoughts about the thing.

Whereas you might be selling something that’s very high touch very, I don’t even know what the word would be, but that could affect the price too. The value that your clients are getting is very high, that will affect the price. But at the end of the day, even if you want to argue with me, price is just a business decision that you make for you, for the structure of your business.

When I say for you, I don’t mean just because it benefits you as in like I’m just going to raise my prices and raise my prices so that I make more money. That might go into the decision, but that shouldn’t be the way you make the decision, but it still is for you. Here’s what I feel great about charging. Here’s what makes sense for me. Here is just what I’ve decided.

Your refund policy also falls in this category. Do you give refunds, do you not? That is just a business decision. And I suggest if you don’t know right now, if you’re like, “Oh, Lindsey, yeah, I don’t know.” Just decide, do you and why? Or do you not and why? Or are you a little more like me, and it’s somewhere in the middle?

So I have a policy that’s– I don’t have a no refund policy. I do give refunds, but it depends on how my client shows up, what the reason is. There are factors that I take into account. But at the end of the day, I’m still not doing it for them.

I’m not really thinking, “Oh, this is best for them because they probably just need that money.” Or this is best for them because I don’t want them to be uncomfortable. That’s not why I do it. I just create the policy and then when it comes time to make a decision, we may decide together what makes the most sense.

Some coaches have a no refund policy, a very strict no refund policy. I have clients that come to me with this in my mastermind, because this is something we talk about, and they will say, “Oh yeah, I have no refunds. It says it in my contract.” And then they have so much drama about a client wanting to quit and wanting their money back.

And I’m like, “Why are you having drama? You have a policy, what is it?” And they proceed to tell me why they need to convince their client that it’s best for them that they don’t give their money back. And I always stop them and say, “No, no, this is a slippery slope that we’re not going to go down.” It might not be best for your client, but you just decided it, you have to own that.

It’s like when you own it you’re just sitting in your discomfort and remembering the reasons that you created the policy. Now, in that moment, you may realize, “Oh, I created it for maybe not the best reasons.” And then that’s like a re-examining of the policy. But really understanding why. Why would I give a refund? Why wouldn’t I give a refund?

Same is true for payment plans, this is also just a business decision that’s for you. This is one, another one where my clients want to argue sometimes. But really this is just for you, you get to decide, do you want to have a payment plan or do you not? You’re the coach, it’s your business, you decide.

Don’t try to convince your clients why having the thing is better for them or not having the thing is better for them. You don’t actually know. You might get a no because you don’t have payment plans. And it might really be true that someone can’t pay you. They might not even have the amount of money that you charge. Could they find it? Maybe. You don’t have to convince them that you not having payment plans is what’s best for them.

And when you know your client’s situation and you know, especially if you’re already their coach, sometimes there might be reasons depending on what you coach on. Especially if you’re maybe a business coach. And actually, even if you’re not a business coach, there might be reasons why not having a payment plan does work well for them and does provide some growth for them. That could be true. It’s just not the reason that you want to make the decision. And you don’t want to try to convince people that it is the best thing for them.

The other thing, which I already touched on a little bit is the structure of what you do. The structure, the times you do your coaching sessions, those are also decisions that you make for you. Now, again, the structure, that might bleed in a little bit to how it could be for your clients, you might take that in mind when you create it. Just keep coming back to you don’t ever want to feel like you’re trying to convince your clients why your decisions are best for them.

This is a place in coaching where I think it gets a little sticky, where it’s like we don’t ever actually know what is best for our clients. You might have a client that works evenings. And if the only time you have available is 5am for your coaching and so now they’re going to come to the call with no sleep and they don’t really have the option to change their schedule, that might not actually be the best thing for them.

Of course, there’s some gray area in all of this because depending on why they’re coming to you for coaching or if they’re like, “I really want to figure this out.” Or if they want coaching on it, they want coaching on the decision, or if it’s right for them, of course you can give it to them. I just see a lot of coaches blurring lots of lines in this area where we’re trying to convince our clients because we feel irritated or frustrated or whatever that they don’t want to do the thing that we want them to do.

And so I just see a lot of coaches trying to convince their clients why it’s best for them. And I’m just going to say, I think you should stay out of that area. Just know you don’t know what’s best for them. If you really believe that, I actually think it makes you a better coach.

If you believe I don’t know what is best for my clients, then you just get to look at your brain and see what comes up for you when you think about saying no refund, right? Like saying, “Yeah, this is just my policy, there’s no refund.”

If you take the refunds for example, I want you to imagine– I’m just going to give you a couple scenarios because coaching is interesting when it comes to these things because we are thinking about our clients’ thoughts and our clients’ emotions. And that is unique to the coaching industry, and of course some other industries. But it is a unique thing in a service that we sell.

I want you to imagine if you walked into a store and you bought a shirt. And you took it home and you tried it on, or you ordered it online or whatever. You tried it on and it doesn’t fit and you want your money back. What do you do? You look up the policy, right? Are they going to give me my money back? Maybe. Maybe it has to be within 30 days, maybe it has to have the tags attached? You know, whatever.

There are rules that are very clear. Maybe they’re very strict. Maybe it’s absolutely no refunds because you bought it at the quarterly sale. Like, nope, you got a discount, so no refund. Maybe you’ve worn the shirt 10 times and then decided you don’t like it. And the store might say no, I’m sorry. It’s been worn, it’s been washed, we can’t resell it. We’re not taking it back.

Then there are stores like I think Nordstrom maybe is one where it’s just like refunds for everyone. Some stores have a very flexible– I don’t know if that’s still true. So don’t take my word on that. But some stores have a very flexible refund policy. It can be in any condition. It can be anything, you get your money back. Now imagine– And I know that’s a good, so you might not see how that is the same thing, like a physical good, right, if you buy a shirt.

Now let’s say you go get your hair cut and they tell you the price. And you’re like, “What, that’s way too expensive. I don’t want to pay that price.” They’re not going to try to convince you why the price is good for you. They’re just going to say, “I’m sorry, but that’s the price.” There’s not going to be a negotiation, nothing’s going to happen besides them just saying, “Okay, this is the price. This is what my clients pay.”

Now, of course, this all is different if there’s an actual problem, right? So if you think about the haircut example, if you go get a haircut, and they’re like, “No, this is the price.” And you’re like, “No, no, you just accidentally buzzed a side of my hair off. I didn’t ask you to do that.” Then there might be a negotiation of what are we going to do about this? But usually, in those cases it’s just like the price is the price, that’s how people run businesses.

And there’s just something strange that happens in the coaching industry because we are working with people with their thoughts, with their minds, with their emotions, that we like to get in there and show them why it’s best for them so that we can feel better. Just notice, anytime you’re doing this, just sit with it.

Anytime that a client doesn’t like something that you’ve done that is just a decision you’ve made for your business, the best thing you can do is just sit with it first and just notice your thoughts. And just ask yourself like, “What is my policy? Do I have a policy around this? If so, what is it?” And just notice what comes up for you.

There are times that people have asked me for refunds and I’ve had lots of thoughts. And I don’t like it and I feel very uncomfortable. But the first thing I do is I coach myself to see that some of it is just like, “No, of course, I don’t want to give money back.” That’s not fun. Just like when we return a shirt, the company isn’t like, “Yay, glad she didn’t like it.” Right?

Any company is not going to like giving you money back in their business. And the same is true for you, and that’s okay. I know one place where this gets sometimes a little foggy for some of my clients is when maybe they change a price. They increase their prices, or make other changes in their business, they change their call times they change their availability.

And it might not be a problem moving forward, but they have thoughts about it with their current clients. It still is a business decision, there’s still a reason that you’re making the decision that you’re making. And you don’t have to convince those clients that it’s for them.

Again, to go back to what I said earlier, there may be ways that it benefits them, but it doesn’t have to be. You don’t want to get into that place where you’re trying to convince them this is the best thing for them. Because it may or may not be.

So the other side of this, some of the other examples I gave of the other decisions that we make in our business, that they’re still kind of business decisions but they are open for more interpretation by our clients. And they’re open for possibly coaching our clients on them. And they are examples of when we might really want to take our clients into consideration and really think about what is the best for them.

So for example, when you think about your policies around rescheduling calls or around making up calls, now you can still make those decisions for you. You could decide, we don’t get make-up calls. We have 12 weeks, we work together for 12 weeks, if you miss a call, you don’t get to make it up.

That would probably be a great decision for you, maybe. Maybe not great, but it might be the most convenient and easy decision for you. But this is an area where it’s like is that best for your clients? Probably not. They might be sick one week, they might be on vacation.

One thing I talk about in my mastermind with my clients is, listen, if you’re on vacation and you’re taking a week off, don’t come to calls. There will be a replay. I truly think that is best for them.

Now, if they’ve decided ahead of time, maybe they’ve missed other calls, or they are like, “No, I’m on vacation but I committed and I want to be there or I’m working a few days over vacation.” That’s different. But I really believe off time is off time and you should really just go enjoy it. So that’s an example where I do take that into consideration for my clients. But I also take it into consideration the other way.

So maybe one week they’re on vacation, and one week someone in their family is sick. And the next week someone else is sick, and then the next week it’s just inconvenient. And then it kind of becomes like they’re missing lots of calls.

That would be a case where you might check in with a client and if they’re open to it that is a place where there might be coaching on why is it best for you to come to the calls live, if that’s your policy, right? Like why is it best for your client to do that? To not miss calls, to not miss lots of calls.

Of course there are times they’re going to miss calls. But that is an opportunity where you might coach them on, like what’s happening that you’re missing so many calls? Why is this not a priority? Especially if they knew the call times ahead of time.

And again, there are caveats to all of this, right? There’s nuance, things come up, but that’s not what we’re talking about here. We’re talking about just your regular day to day clients who have committed to coaching with you. Who are there for the results and for whatever reason they’ve stopped showing up or they start missing a bunch of calls. They come to all the calls with their camera off when it’s not supposed to be off.

Things like that, where it’s like you can make a decision for your business. You can also make a decision for your business and consider how is this best for my clients?

So for example, in my mastermind, on one of the very– Not on one of, on the very first call I talk about all of this stuff. I talk about coming to calls, I talk about how important it is to be on live. And I say if you’re on vacation, don’t come, there’s a replay. If you have a doctor’s appointment, don’t come, there’s a replay.

I also talk about coming to calls live and being on camera. I think that that’s really important, I know that it makes a difference in the way people show up. But I’m also a mom. So if I see a kid in the background all of a sudden, or if you are home and maybe you’re not feeling well or you have a sick child home and you really do want to be on the call and you want to just listen in, I don’t have a problem with that.

But there’s a difference between that and– I’m not going to coach someone on that like, why did you have your camera off today? I don’t care, you do you. You do what is best for you. I really do trust my clients to know what’s best for them.

But that’s very different than someone coming to a call every time and not showing up on camera or going on and off, on and off. That might be more of a conversation of like, “Hey, why is this happening?” Or “Can I help you with anything? Is there anything here we need to examine?”

Another way, this is something we talk about a lot in my mastermind, is the way we support our clients, the way you support your clients between calls or between sessions. And of course, this varies whether it’s one on one, whether you’re doing one on one coaching or group coaching or whatever it is. But there are multiple ways, I have clients, coaches from all over the industry. Lots of different ways that people have learned to coach and standards that they have seen set in other places.

And sometimes my clients come and they’re like, “Yep, I send notes after every call, I record every call, I send the recording. I have open communication with my clients between calls. They’re allowed to email me. They’re allowed to text me. We have Voxer, we have a special Voxer group.” And it’s this whole list of like basically I support them in every way possible every moment of every day.

That’s something we examine. And this is one of those things where in the beginning maybe there are some reasons to do some of those things. Really, like you’re getting your footing as a coach. It helps you coach more because your clients are coming to you with things.

But as your business grows, a couple things happen. First, you become a better coach, you become more efficient. You really understand your coaching so much better and you get to the point where adding all of those extra things, it can create a certain indulgence for your clients where they don’t really need you between the calls. They don’t really need that much extra support.

But it’s adding all of this extra work for you. And this is a time to look at how could it be best for my clients to not have all that extra support? And I’ll just tell you one reason right now. And of course, again, this varies, it depends on what your niche is, it depends on a lot of things.

But for the most part, there are very few coaches that can convince me that their clients need all of this extra support. Because one of the things, one of the main things I teach is that we’re teaching clients how to use their own brain, not ours.

And if they have access, like open access to us all the time, and some of you may have noticed this before, especially if you don’t have boundaries around it, they may start messaging you more and more and more. And it’s because you’re creating, in your coaching you’re creating a dependence on your brain.

Instead of directing them back to their brain and really teaching them how to trust themselves, how to show up for themselves, how to really think about everything differently. Not just think of a coach as someone I just ask like, what do I do about this? Or how would you handle this? Or can you read this message that I got from someone and tell me what to do? Or can you read the copy for my website?

Can you, whatever it is, like fill in the blank all of the things. When it’s maybe not even something you offer but your claims just keep coming. Because the more you give, the more they will take. And that isn’t necessarily a good thing.

If you feel very threatened by what I’m saying right now, I want you to just sit with it. You don’t have to listen, especially if I’m not your coach. You don’t have to change anything about what you’re doing. But if you are doing this, if you’re offering support in 100 different ways to your clients, I want you to just consider how is this not the best thing for them?

Now, this is really different if you have maybe a program or a course or something where they can log on and they have access to materials. That’s different, of course, you have constant support. That’s part of the thing, like that’s part of the deal.

What I’m talking about is just constant access to you personally, might not be the best thing for them. And that is a case where you can really question how is it best for them if I remove this? How is it best if I maybe alter what I’m doing or implement even with all of my new clients that I don’t do this anymore?

Of course, it is going to benefit you, it’s going to open up more time, it’s going to open up just really more of you thinking about how to be a better coach for all of your clients, instead of putting out little fires. But it’s also best for them in so many ways.

So where I just kind of want to leave you with this, is I really just want you to consider, this may be different for each business, but I really want you to consider the difference between decisions you make in your business that are just for you, that are the structure of your business. It’s just how you do business, how you run things, versus the decisions you make in your business where you really take time to consider how is this best for my client?

And just take a moment, I’m just like giving you homework. You’re not my clients, you’re just listening to my podcast but I’m going to give you homework. Take a moment and just really separate those things out. Decide which is which. Decide what your business policies are. Where are they flexible? Where are they not flexible? What do you take into consideration? What don’t you take into consideration?

And I don’t want you to think this is me saying you have to have the most strict policies. Maybe you don’t, maybe your policies aren’t strict at all. You just want to know what they are and why.

And then separate out the other side, which is what are all the decisions you make in your business that do benefit your clients, that you do want to examine how is this for my clients. It will help you so much moving forward.

The more clear you are about all of these things, the easier it’s going to be to respond when they happen. Because you’ll notice right away, “Oh no, this is just a decision I made about my business. It’s just my policy.” And then you just get to notice what thoughts come up. Or on the other side, “Oh, this is a decision I made for my business, but I also really want to consider how is it best for my clients that will help me get much more clear.”

And also just really seeing how maybe the first list is not a place where we’re coaching clients and convincing them that this is the right policy, because it’s just the policy. Versus the other side we’re still never coaching our clients to convince them really of anything. We’re still not coaching to convince them that these are right for them, but they could be if the clients are open to coaching.

All right loves, thank you so much for listening today and I will be back next week. Bye.

I want to just drop a little note here at the end, if you are listening in real time as this podcast is coming out, everything I talked about today, this is something that we cover in my mastermind. And if you’re interested in learning more and you know you want to join, you know you want to do this work and get super clear about your processes, come join us. You can head to my website lindsaydotzlafcoaching.com. There’s also details on my Instagram just @Lindsaydotzlaf and I hope to see you there.

Thanks for listening to this episode of Mastering Coaching Skills. If you want to learn more about my work, come visit me at lindsaydotzlafcoaching.com. That’s Lindsay with an A, D-O-T-Z-L-A-F.com. see you next week.