Hey, this is Lindsay Dotzlaf and you are listening to Mastering Coaching Skills, episode 11.

To really compete in the coaching industry, you have to be great at coaching. That’s why every week, I will be answering your questions, sharing my stories, and offering tips and advice so you can be the best at what you do. Let’s get to work.

Friends, oh my goodness. Today, I have the biggest treat for you. I am having a conversation with my friend and client Sheri Strzelecki. You are going to learn so much from her. I know I have.

—

Lindsay: Hello.

Sheri: Hi.

Lindsay: How are you today?

Sheri: I’m amazing, and a little nervous. But super-excited.

Lindsay: Good. I am also very excited and we’re laughing because this may be the second time we’ve said these exact words. We’re just saying them all over again. But I already told you this, but for the listeners, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling also just a little nervous. Which is funny because I’m going to have you introduce yourself in a second and they will understand why. I should not be nervous about this, but for some reason, because of who you are, it really is this, like, I have to nail it, I have to get it right, I have to ask her the best questions. So, yeah, I’m feeling a little nervous too. We’ll work through it together.

Sheri: Well, I have been self-coaching myself on this exact thing because of who you are and why I also should not be nervous. And so, I actually did a grounding meditation to really ground my energy before I even started on this because I was like, I’ve got to talk to Lindsay and I don’t want to be nervous. But here we are.

Lindsay: Perfect. Or, we can just be nervous together.

Sheri. Yep.

Lindsay: Okay, so introduce yourself. Who are you?

Sheri: I am Sheri Strzelecki and I’m a life coach and intuitive mentor.

Lindsay: And the other thing that came to me when I was up in the middle of the night last night is not only are you a coach and you’re my friend, but I realized, we have been friends for almost exactly 20 years. What? I’m pretty sure that’s the thought that kept me up for most of the night, trying to figure out how I got so old.

Sheri: Exactly. That’s what I was just thinking. It can’t be 20 years. Although 20 years – I just told Keith the other day – don’t you feel like you were just in college like yesterday? And he’s like, “No.” And I’m like, “Oh, really? I feel like I’m jump back there.”

Lindsay: Yes, the reason it really struck me is I was thinking back to the first time I met you and just thinking about who we were then and what we were doing and where we were. We were in college. And I had a thought, that was right by my 20^th birthday, and I just turned 40, so it just kind of hit me all of a sudden, like, wait a minute, 20 years is a long time. That’s longer than I’ve known my husband.

Sheri: I know. I was there for it.

Lindsay: You’ve been there for all the things. Okay, so the question I want to ask about that, the reason I wanted to point that out to everyone is, first of all, just because it’s interesting to think about that, that we’re now both coaches and we’re now doing this podcast together and I’m interviewing you, or having this conversation with you. But I have a question for you, because this is fun to think about.

So, if we went back – so, we worked together at a restaurant in college. And if someone had walked in and we were working, someone had walked in like from the future and said, in 20 years, you are going to be recording – now, they wouldn’t have said a podcast I don’t think. I mean, they may have and we would have said, like, “What is a podcast?”

Sheri: Right.

Lindsay: But if that happened and they said, “You’re going to be doing this recording together. You’re going to be talking. Lots of people are going to be listening.” What would you have thought it would have been about?

Sheri: So, that’s a great question. And I would say I don’t think it would be this conversation that we would be having. But I would not have been surprised that it would be the two of you doing something. The conversation, if somebody was interviewing us, I think would be something about adventure. Because we had talked about how we’re going to move to the west coast or Colorado and we’re going to hike all over and we’re going to go into the wilderness and do all of these things.

Which for you at the time was so in your wheelhouse. And for me, I was like, I’m a little country girl. Yeah, that sounds amazing. But absolutely, I would just be doing it with you. But I was so drawn to that. So, that’s what I would really think is that the conversation would not be what we – I think this is an adventure in itself, right? And I think this is the adventure that I didn’t know that we would be on, that I knew we would be on some sort of adventure together. Which I love.

Lindsay: That is the best answer ever and it’s so much more profound than what I came up with, which was we would probably be talking about, I don’t know, bars in Bloomington or wine. I’m not sure. But I think that you are completely – that actually makes a lot of sense. And what’s really funny about that is that you are the one who ended up moving to California and I met my husband and stayed right where I was for a while. So fun.

I don’t know why I think – I literally thought about that question for like an hour while I was awake in the night, just thinking about this interview and just how fun it is to think how we have grown, how we have changed. But I think you’re exactly right, that it totally would have been about adventure. And this is the best adventure.

Sheri: So good. I love it.

Lindsay: Okay, so now let’s dive in. Tell me who you work with, how you help your clients, what do you do, your favorite question of all time?

Sheri: Yes, this was probably what I was having to self-coach myself on constantly.

Lindsay: I know she’s going to ask…

Sheri: Yes, this is going to be the question, right? But I feel so much more clear around this response than even a year ago. And so, the people that I work with, I’m just a general life coach. But I work with all people that are seeking all kinds of things in their life, growth, thinking. Like, I asked one of my clients the other day, “What was it that really brought you to work with me?”

And she said, “When we first started working, I was just a hot mess, all over the place. I didn’t know where to begin or anything like that.” And it really resonated with me because that’s how I felt a lot of the time.

And so, the people that I work with have this feeling within them that they’re just meant for something more. They don’t really know how. That’s the story that they live with. And they just know that change is on the brink of things and that they’re supposed to be a part of it, right?

They tend to be more intuitive. And so, what I mean by that is feelers, or they tend to have nudges or callings or, you know, spiritual experiences to where they don’t really know what to do with that. And I really just help them find their inner wisdom and connect to that and get out of that thought energy a lot of the times and drop into their heart space of, just like, what is your heart wisdom? What does it feel like in your body? Let’s learn the language of your soul.

Lindsay: I could not love that answer any more. And what is really perfect about it is that this is the perfect opportunity to say, one main reason I wanted to have you on today is you’ve been working with me in my mastermind, so I thought that it’s a good opportunity for you to tell people why everyone should join my mastermind. But that is not mostly the point. Mostly, I wanted to have you on because we speak different languages when it comes to coaching.

All of those words that you just said, I know exactly what you’re talking about. But that is not how I coach my clients. It is not the language that I use. And it really is an example, and such a beautiful example, of one of the main things I teach in the mastermind and talk about a lot on this podcast is really stepping into who you are as a coach and how you being different than other coaches, other people, how that’s actually a really great thing and not a reason to judge yourself and say, “I should be more like them.”

Sheri: Yeah. And I mean, as you know, it’s been the thing that has been my biggest work, just even owning some of this wisdom and really navigating that. Because I understand the thought work piece and the thought energy. But for me, it really has to resonate in my body and I have to communicate with it from that standpoint first, and then kind of inform my brain from that space, versus the other way around.

Lindsay: Yes, whereas I’m the exact opposite. We talk about this all of the time. I have all of the thoughts. I love to overthink everything. And my work has always been what you bring to the table, which is, “Now, Lindsay, you have to feel your feelings and feel it in your body.” And I’m like, why do I have to do that?

So, I want to know, when did you first become – and I feel like I should know the answer to this, but I just want to hear what your answer is. When did you first become aware of coaching? That coaching is something that you could participate in, that you could have a coach, that normal people have coaches.

Sheri: Yeah, so that was probably around five years ago. Around five years ago, you actually introduced me to my very first life coach, which was Stacey Boehman. And at that point, I didn’t really know what coaching was. I didn’t even know it was a thing. And I was just like, “Yeah, she’s going to help me figure out how to create a business,” at the time that I was doing.

And then, as I started working with her, I was like, “Wait, I love this work so much. This is what it’s called. This is the thing that I want to do but I don’t have the words for it. Like, this is what I’m passionate about.” So, I would say about five years ago when, ultimately, you reached out to me as a friend and said, “Hey, I’m working with a life coach. You should too.” And I was like, okay.

Lindsay: Listen, as your best friend, I’m just going to say, I think you need a life coach. That’s not actually what I said. I think for me it was like, “I hired a life coach and my whole mind has exploded and you have got to know about this.”

Sheri: Yeah, same right? And for me, it was just like witnessing my own transformation over and over and over again. And then there was deep things I had to go through around even understanding the body wisdom piece of, like, everything that was taking place. Because again, the logic part of it made sense to me and I’d just been introduced to this magical moment of coaching and I was like, “What is this? Yes, this is what it’s called.” But I was still a little bit disconnected in my body because I was like, “Is this real? Is this not?” And so, then I had to learn that part of my language.

Lindsay: I love watching you and I wish that everyone could see you answer the questions because it’s such a good example of how you are so in your body and how you touch your shoulders and touch your body when you’re talking, which is so funny because I don’t do that and it’s such a good visual example of what we’re talking about, the difference between feeling versus thinking. And it’s just fun to watch you answer. So, I wish I could just share it with everyone.

Do you have a distinct memory of, like – and maybe the answer is no – of the moment that you thought, “Oh my gosh, maybe this is what I want to do. This is the thing.” Like, after you’d been working with a coach for a while and you had that moment of, like, “Wait a minute. Maybe I want to be a coach.”

Sheri: Yeah, so I remember, it was around the holidays. And I remember, it was in the evening and I was sitting at my kitchen table and I had had a coaching call with her earlier in the day. And now I have three kids, but at the time, I only had two. And I was sharing with her some of the things that I have done for myself as far as journaling. And I journal to my kids versus how I used to, just write.

And I remember her posing this question to me around that and I was like – it felt in alignment but also disconnected a little bit because I was like, “No, I’m going to go be a yoga instructor. Or I’m going to…” I don’t know, there’s this holistic piece of me that wants to come out and yes, I want to do this thing with my kids that you’re talking about, but it was so much more. And I’m like, “I think that this is what it is.”

And it can include all of the things. And so, my brain really wanted to focus on, like, one thing. This is the career that you were supposed to have. And my body and, like, all of these sensations and emotions that she basically brought up within me were coming to the surface and I was like, “Is this what it is?” And I think that, I would say, would be the moment. I don’t think that I trusted that moment fully.

Lindsay: How do you think coaching helped you step into it and really learned to trust yourself and trust the feeling you were having at the time?

Sheri: Yeah, so I always say it’s like exercising a muscle, constantly doing the work, constantly feeling the feelings, going through it and working on my pieces of, like, shaming myself, my worthiness, my negative self-talk, my comparison to everyone. And just really learning how to create the space to see it from a place of love versus, like, “You’re not good enough.” And so, I think that is just the continuous work from there, practicing it every day.

Lindsay: So, when I think about the different journeys that you and I have been on, this might be a surprise to some people listening, but I used to dabble a little more in some of the work that you’re talking about, like be a little more spiritual. I included some of those aspects into my coaching. And now, I have kind of transitioned into mostly a mindset coach.

And it’s so clear to me why and I’m actually really grateful that we did this interview because it really made me think about, why do I think that is? And for me, the answer is because I’ve always been obsessed with the brain, just in general, like how it works. I’ve already said I’m in my head a lot, so I’m always in my head thinking about thinking even sometimes. But I’ve just always loved thinking about the brain and how it works and how we can change the way our brain works and how it’s so powerful and we have the power to – I want to say manipulate, but that’s not the best word. But really, manipulate the way we think, to use our brain to our advantage instead of listening to all the terrible things that sometimes it tells us.

So, I’m curious for you, what is that for you kind of on the other side. Because I kind of remember a moment when you were like, “I see that this thing is kind of missing. Like, I’m missing this piece in my coaching and my journey.” First of all, what would you call that piece and why do you think that has been so important for you?

Sheri: That’s a really great question. And I think, as a spiritual entrepreneur and anyone that is on a spiritual journey can relate to finding a way to articulate this feeling or experience with words can be challenging. And so, for me, it was a calling, a nudge, a pit in my stomach. And really almost even a pit in my heart.

Because if you were to ask me, what does my energetic body look like? I would say, I am a silhouette of a human being and all that is shooting out from me are like gold and green rays of love, from my heart space. And so, whereas you have been fascinated with the mind always, mine has always been around compassion and love and just openness of the heart to accept and be and love everyone.

And so, that pit in my heart and in my gut is really the calling or the nudge that I just kept feeling. And it’s just a little annoying tick within you that’s like, that’s not the thing, that’s not the thing. And I will say, ever since I was a little girl – and I will give credit to my parents and my family, specifically my mom, of just instilling this faithfulness in me with God. And I, as you know, have never said that I’m a religious person.

I was born and raised Catholic, but my mom always told me, you have a relationship with God. You get to talk to God any single moment you want to. You don’t have to go to a church. So, I think that’s where my spirituality and the faithfulness came from and was instilled in me. And I just felt pulled to this deeper work, to quiet my mind and listen to my heart and my stomach and my gut and just be like, “Okay, I surrender. Here I am. Tell me the things.”

Lindsay: Yeah, that’s so good. T’s just so interesting even listening to you say those words because I totally resonate with them. And when I hear you talk about this – and you know this just because you have been in my mastermind. I talk a lot about it doesn’t matter – I don’t think one type of coaching is better than another. I think there are great coaches for everyone. And I think there are going to be people that hear you say this, even maybe just on this podcast, and think, “Oh my gosh, she is speaking my language.”

So, what I would say – and this I one reason that I really wanted to have you on, to just really talk about the importance of this, is that if anyone is listening and they’re like, “Oh my gosh, this is me, I’ve got a certain certification or I learned to coach a certain way, but I still have this nudge or this missing piece, I just think it’s so important to talk about, like, you can have a very successful business. You can build a business like yours, incorporating all those pieces of you, without having to think, “I’m doing it wrong,” or, “I should be doing it more like this other person.”

Sheri: Yeah. I really like to think of myself now, which has been a journey to get to this point of, like, I am all the things. I say to my clients all the time, I am you, you are me. So, regardless of what my clients are coming to the call with or anything like that, I may not have had that specific experience. But I can coach your mind. But I’m going to speak to your soul language, because that is how – you actually were the one that brought it into my awareness, of like, “You’re, like, bilingual.” And I was like, “What?” She’s like, “This is amazing.”

And as I’ve allowed myself to receive that information of, like, what if I am and what if that is actually a thing? And what if that’s totally what I do? I speak to the soul language and I help you discover what that is for yourself. And I do that in the form of energy. What’s that feel like? Where is that at in your body? Can you name the thing?

So, where you have all the thoughts, I have all the words. So, just like in this podcast, the thought in my brain is, like, “I’m talking too much. She’s asking me the question. I’m coming all the way around and then finally coming to the point.” And because it’s you, I know that that’s not the case. But that’s how my brain worked. And that, I had to really just love as part of who I am.

Like, yeah, I have to find my way. And it’s kind of like a labyrinth almost of, like, let me say all the words to find the feeling and then that’s it. Let me tell you.

Lindsay: Okay so first of all, that is just a thought. Let’s just point that out. Because it’s not true at all. And I would love to listen to you talk all day. It’s why you’re here. You’re not here so I can talk. They want to hear what you have to say.

But – and I want to point this out because I don’t think I’ve talked about this yet on the podcast. I’m sure I’ll do an episode on it at some point. But what you’re referring to when I said, “What if it’s kind of like you’re bilingual?” I think – and this is just my own personal theory that I’ve created from coaching so many different people over the years – is that some people speak the language of thoughts and the mind, and some people speak the language of feelings.

And one thing I notice, because you were my one-on-one client also at one point, which we’ll talk about that in a minute about how are we maybe able to do that as good friends. But what I really noticed when I worked with you is that you just speak a different language than me. And that’s not a problem.

Because I would ask you a question and you would answer it by saying, “Well, I feel very…” however. I feel very anxious about it or I feel very whatever the feeling would be. And you would always lead with the feeling. And I know, if you had hired me when I was a new coach, I would have thought, “Oh my gosh, this is a problem. No, we need to find the thought.” And now – and this is what I teach in the mastermind, is it doesn’t matter where you start.

If your client speaks the language of feelings, start with the feeling. Start there for sure. There’s always going to be thoughts that come along with them. But there’s no, like, this is the exact right way to do it. You have to start with the thought and then find the feeling. You start wherever your client is. What do you think about that?

Sheri: Yeah, and I think that that – well, I think two things. One, I see it so much clearer now as we’re saying the same thing. We just have two different starting points. Before I really could not – my brain could not wrap around that. It felt very disconnected.

My brain thought this is the right way. My body was like, no this is the right way. It can’t be both, you have to choose one or the other. And I was having such an internal conflict with that. Now, as I’ve grown and as I’ve deepened into my work and I hold space at a larger capacity for other people. I’m like, no, it’s the same thing. We’re saying the same thing all the time. I see it so clearly now. And I love that because before, I just couldn’t.

And then, on the second part of that, of where I think that when you are a feeler or intuitive or whatever, you know, sensitive, it comes with a lot of baggage of, like, you’re not supposed to feel the things. You’re being too emotional. You’re being sensitive.

So, that is, like, years and years of just layers of, oh my gosh, I can’t be like this because it’s wrong. And so, then you think that there is a right way, or I am too sensitive, or I am too emotional. And that was the un-layering process that I really had to get to, to really be like, “What does that even mean?” Of course you should feel it. You’re human. You’re having a human experience. What do you want to do about it?

Lindsay: Isn’t it so funny to think about it the other way around, like for you to think about me, if I was like, “I’m doing it all wrong. I’ve got to stop thinking these things and I just have to feel. I should just start with the feeling and not the thought.” It’s like, no, I get to the feeling. Of course, that has been probably one of the biggest things that I’ve worked on through coaching, just learning to feel emotion, but also just to trust my emotions, to trust if I’m feeling – you know because you’ve been my best friend, but if I’m feeling anxious, it’s okay. This is not an emergency. I don’t need to ramp it up until I have a panic attack. I could just feel anxious and that could be fine.

And that’s kind of where I started on my whole coaching journey, was like I just want to not feel so anxious and figure out what in the world I’m supposed to do with my life. And now, it’s transitioned into this. So, I definitely work a lot with feelings with my clients. I just notice that most of my clients are like me and they start with the thought. It’s like, yeah, here’s for sure all the thoughts I’m thinking and I’m trying really hard not to experience any emotion with them.

Sheri: Yeah, and a lot of my clients will come to me with the thoughts. And I say, my first question is, “Okay, so how are you feeling?” Because for me, I need to be able to translate that. Like, let me start where I need to start to understand of how I can help you through this process. Because we all can have different thoughts with different emotions following them. So, what might make you anxious might not make me anxious at all.

And so, I need to understand, where is this happening within you? What does this feel like? Is it heavy? Does it feel stuck? Do you have tension? Does your neck hurt? I move my neck and I’m like, “Oh yeah, I do.” Let me actually just move my body and stretch here for a minute.

Lindsay: I love it. So, what I have found – and I’m curious if you have found this as well. What I’ve found over the years of coaching that I’ve done, I’ve worked with hundreds of clients at this point, and I find that people that come to me are either exactly like me. So, they’re very in their head, very overly critical of themselves, very perfectionist tendencies, like that type of person, I attract a lot of those, overachiever, whatever, always in their head.

Or, I attract people who want to learn to be in their head more, who want to learn, like, “Okay, I know I feel all of the things. I just don’t know what to do with it.” They want a little piece of what I know how to do. I’m curious if that is your experience also.

Sheri: I would say that it is now becoming that for me in my business. So, it’s very exciting. And I think just like I’ve said before, I am you, you are me, I also believe that in order for me to help anyone, I have to go first. And so, for me, the people that were working with me were pretty much my story, you know. I was maybe a couple of steps ahead of just, like, “Oh yeah I just went through that. Let me tell you what I did and see if it works.”

Now, I am getting some of the individuals that I would say are very thought focused and I’m like, “Oh yeah, let’s just drop into your body and see where that is. I know you’re so resistant to be in your body, but let’s explore that. Let’s see.” So, I’m really excited about this next piece or this next part of my business unfolding because I think it’s a testament of my own journey and my own growth. And then also, yes, I get to do both. I can do both. And so can everybody else. And so, it’s like yes.

Lindsay: My guess is, your experience will probably be really similar to mine, which for me it’s like coaching both of those people are so, so fun. Like, they’re both fun because the one is like, “Oh yeah. I know this because it’s mine.” And then, on the other side, it’s like, “Oh, I get to be the person who really teaches you to use the power of your brain for you instead of against you.

And the same will be true for you. You’ve coached me before. And also on top of that, knowing that we’ve been friends for 20 years, you have been the person who has done this thing that you’re saying, whether or not you want to believe it, you have been doing that for me for 20 years. Now you just have honed skills and actual words for it and a process, as opposed to just listening to me and hugging me.

Sheri: And it’s the same for you with me. I always have said to you, Lindsay’s my logical friend. She’s my counsel. I need to talk to her. And we ended up working together and we started the journey out and then, you know, then I was like, no, I need you not just as my friend. But I need you as my coach. Because I trust you. You get it. I can be me. I can speak my language and you can decipher it all and speak to me in a language that my heart and ears understand.

Lindsay: Yeah, so this is the perfect transition into why do you think it worked for – because I have a lot of clients that come to me, a lot of people in the mastermind sometimes will say, “So, I’m coaching my best friend.” I’m always like, oh man, okay. And it doesn’t always work.

Sometimes, I think people think it will be easier to coach friends because they’re friends. But it’s a little trickier because you know their story, you know their family. You know, you would come to me – I love Keith. Hey, Keith if you’re listening. But you would come to me with this thought about your husband. And I really had to separate myself from the husband who I’m friends with who I know very well versus you’re a person that I don’t know your husband and it’s just like anyone else, any one of my other clients saying words about their husband. Not that that was something that came up a lot but just as an example…

Sheri: I talk about him all the time.

Lindsay: No, I’m kidding. I’m sure he’s not shocked. But why do you think we were able to do that?

Sheri: I think we have a huge amount of respect for one another. And I also think that we waited – we both went on two kind of separate journeys and I think it was just aligned at the perfect time. I was ready to receive coaching from my best friend and not be emotionally attached to it from a place of worry or, “Oh my gosh, this is going to hurt our friendship.”

And I think, on the other side, because of that respect and love for one another, that you were feeling the same way. Like, I think that absolutely and of course I would want to coach her. And of course, I would want to receive coaching. Because we do love each other, and we do want the best for each other, and we do want to hold the space for one another to be seen exactly how we are.

Lindsay: I don’t know if I’ve ever told you this. So, I think you messaged me or something…

Sheri: I sent you a text that just said, “I’m ready.”

Lindsay: Yeah, and I was like, “Ready for what?” And then you answered, and it became clear what you were saying, and I called Stacey, who was I think she was still my one-on-one coach at the time. And I was like, “I have a problem.” She’s like, “What’s the problem?”

And I said, “I think Sheri wants to hire me as her coach and I have to refer her to someone. Who do you think I should refer her to? She has to have the best coach.” She didn’t say anything for a minute, and she said, “Okay, who do you think is the best coach you know?” And I was like, you jerk.

Sheri: Totally me. Like, yes.

Lindsay: Yes, and I threw out a couple of names. And she said, “Well, do you think they are a better coach than you?” And it really was such growth for me because it kind of allowed me to step into that space of, like, “Whoa, maybe I am a really good coach.” That was kind of a huge transformation for me that had nothing to do with me actually even talking to you yet. But just kind of processing it first on my own before I messaged you back and said, “Great, let’s do it. Let’s hop in the phone and talk about it.”

And so, I do want to actually thank you for that because I think that that really allowed me to own, like, okay, I’m going to own this if I’m going to be the person who, especially now, who I help coaches be better coaches. That was kind of the first step of that process for me, I think, of stepping into this is who – yeah, I do believe I’m a good coach. And if anyone’s going to coach her, it should probably be me.

Sheri: Totally, I love that. I’m glad I could have played a small part in that for you, for sure. Because for me, outside of even just our friendship, if we were strictly talking coaching, I would say that is the gift that you had given me, period. The tough love at times with love. Saying the hard things, calling me out on the things. And also loving me in my space and seeing me and saying, “That’s ridiculous. Knock it off.”

And that part is like an element of our friendship. But also, just from a strictly business perspective, you have allowed me that space to really step into who I am as a coach. And I think I am able to do that more so because of the trust and love that we have for one another. I’m like, she would totally tell me if this was enough, from the friendship standpoint, you know. She would be like, nope.

Lindsay: And I think, one thing I remember when I was coaching you, when we were one on one coaching, when I was your one-on-one coach, one thing I do remember is there were a couple times when I would kind of stop and say, “Okay, so I know this is a coaching call, but this is coming from Lindsay your friend. I have to say something.”

And for anyone who is coaching their friends or has had fears about coaching friends or even things like I hear a lot of people say, “Well, if I can’t even coach my friends, if I can’t even coach my best friend then I must be a terrible coach,” what I would say is there are two super-important things.

One is always loving your client, which I actually I realized after I started coaching you, so much easier with you because I already truly love you. So, there was no – I didn’t have to create that in any way. I didn’t have to – and when I say love your client, I just mean truly loving the potential of who your client wants to be, who they are coming to you to be. For me, that was super-easy with you because I already knew it.

And then, the second thing is just being so clear about what is the difference between a friend and a coach, and being very clear as the coach, this is the one that I am right now, and also kind of teaching your client to know which one they want. Because there’s a very big difference in how you show up as a friend who’s like – I always use the example of, like, “What did she say to you? I’ll send her hate mail,” or whatever, right? Versus a coach is, “Oh, well how are you feeling about this? Tell me your thoughts about this. I’m going to help you feel better and move through it.” Versus, “Yeah, you’re right, she’s a jerk.”

Sheri: Yeah, no, and I think that is the love and trust and respect that I think when we began working together, I had to be ready to receive and you had to be ready to set those boundaries. And I know that there were multiple times when you would say, “Do you want my friend answer, or do you want my coach answer? How are you asking me?”

And sometimes, I would be like, “I want both.” And you’re like, “Okay. Let’s start here.” And just setting that container was super-important, but also, like, has just helped me even set that with my clients now. Because I become friends with my clients, you know.

And so sometimes, of course, I could jump in the pool with them and get on board with all of the things that are happening. But I think that is also just a valuable lesson that I learned through working with you. Because we were establishing it for ourselves.

Lindsay: I love that. Okay, so what do you think – we’re going to shift gears a little bit and come back to something that we talked about in the very beginning, which is just really stepping into being you as a coach, learning who you are, what is your coaching style, what makes you special, why should someone hire you versus someone else, who would want to work with you because you’re you? When you think about that for yourself, what do you think makes you different as a coach? When I say different, I’m sure there are people out there with similar coaching styles, but why would someone want to work with you versus a different coach?

Sheri: Okay, so I’ll say, I use different modalities. So, I’m a reiki practitioner. I utilize the chakra system. I do a lot of meditation with my clients and really just kind of bringing that energy and divine guidance out of them. So, for me, I think when I think of all of the people that have come to me and that are coming to me are people that have been very focused, outside of themselves, trying to figure it out, “Let me hustle. Let me run to the next thing.”

And really, when they come to me, I’m just like, “Yeah, let’s just take a deep breath and pause.” And so, I’m like, “Let’s just take a deep breath and just sit here.” And I used to think that that was really bad. But then I just realized, if I go outside and I walk around and I see individuals, everybody is going too fast. And so, for me, it’s like, no, pause, come back home and be present, to cultivate what is actually taking place, what is actually happening.

So, I would say that it’s a deeper dive in but a powerful pull from within, right? And then it just feels so much clearer and more abundant and just like, yeah, it’s like a soul yes. And so, I teach people how to work with their energetic bodies.

So, I utilize the chakra system a lot. And so, there’s seven main chakras. And so, all the way from spiritual to intuition and wisdom, to expression, to relationships and love, to the I-am and the identity, to sexual pleasure, creativity, and to security and stability and all that. Which are all things that a lot of us, in some area in our lives, are feeling certain ways around.

And so, there can be an imbalance and there can be fear, or I’m really trying to help people release their fear bodies. Like, it’s okay to be you, and so that authenticness. And I do it in a way of, like, just witnessing you. And so, witnessing you, guiding you into your body, having you speak the words vibrationally, naming the things. And then bringing it to your mind, to make clearer decisions. What is it that you actually want to do here? And so, it’s just really aligning both. So, hopefully that answers your question.

Lindsay: That is the perfect answer because I asked you what makes you different, why would someone hire you? And that was such a good answer because I’m sure – and you and I have done a lot of work on this – where I’m sure that some people listening right no heard that and thought, “I’ve no idea what she’s saying, and I would never hire her.” And that’s totally fine.

Like, this is one thing that I talk a lot with a lot of my clients about, like yeah, of course there are going to be people that aren’t going to hire you, just like there would be people that wouldn’t hire me because I don’t do that, because I don’t even know how many chakras there are or if I say the word right. That’s not something that’s going to come up in my coaching.

But the beauty of that is that the opposite is also true. Your people, the people that hear that and think, “Whoa, she is speaking my language…” or even, “Whoa, I don’t know what that means but I really want to.” So, it could be one or the other. But those people are going to hear that and think, “I’ve never heard it like that before. I have to hire her.”

Sheri: Come on. I’m ready for you.

Lindsay: Everybody come on. It’s so different than the fear that most coaches have and that I hear a lot, which is like, “But what if people don’t understand what that is? Or what if they don’t want to hire me?” And it’s like, “Yeah, some people won’t. And that’s a good thing.”

Sheri: That’s a huge fear of mine. Like, I’ve said to you a million times, “I don’t have the words. People don’t understand what I am saying.” And here’s what I’ll say about that. Just to give you a picture of it, everything is made up of energy. And so, a lot of times, I even just have to coach myself around using the term energy. And I’m like, energy is science, Sheri. It’s a thing.

But for me, I was making it mean something completely different because that intuitive guidance, that energetic body that I work with, and me thinking that other people, they don’t feel this way. But that’s not true. And so, how I really had to start to break it down for even my own understanding was like, when I walk into a room, there’s so many times where I’m feeling the energy way before my mind even knows what the hell is happening. Like, if I’m just being honest.

And so, a lot of times, especially in intimate relationships or anything like that, I will feel a lot of the unspoken words of others and it feels a little suffocating to me, and it makes me then, like, my body, my nervous system really goes into that fight or flight mode. And so, I really had to learn how to create this space for the energy field to really just kind of hold that boundary.

Like, your energy can hit me, but I need to see it first. And so, that’s what a lot of my work is with my clients, is like, you get hit with all of the things before your brain can even process it. So, my thoughts were very chaotic and all over the place. And then, I would just try to decipher it. But I was always having this feeling within my body. And I was like, “How do I work with that? I don’t know what to do here.”

And so, I really started this practice of just like, “Let me just pause. Let me open myself up to use what I know, this tool.” And so, that’s the piece around energy. It’s not this – it is a thing. You can be a feeler and a thought leader. And it was like, I didn’t have to choose. And I love that piece because it’s like, what am I really great at? I’m really great at connecting with people because I can feel a lot of the emotions that are taking place even without the words coming out of their mouth yet.

Lindsay: As you were talking, I was having flashbacks of when we used to work together. This was even pre-coaching. We were in college or just after college, we were waiting tables. And literally, I would walk into work and you would just say, “Whoa, you need to take a deep breath.” You could just immediately look at me and just tell probably I was feeling anxious. That was my go-to feeling. And you would just immediately know before I said one word.

And so, it’s so funny to hear you say that and hear you say, like, “And I learned that this thing that I have just been so good at my whole life, I learned how to harness it into the power of coaching.”

Sheri: Yeah, see, beautiful. And this is why I have Lindsay, because she takes all of that, that I just said, and just put it in a very streamlined process of, like, yep, that’s exactly what I meant to say. I love that.

Lindsay: Okay, so I think we could talk all day, but I don’t want this podcast to be three hours, so we might have to just record another one at some point. What do you – so, I have a couple of last questions. The first one is, so, in Coaching Masters, I love this and I love having you on – I don’t think I told you this, but you helped me realize something that I was believing about my mastermind, which is, why would anybody ever do it more than once?

And you reached out and you were like, “Hey, I think I want to do Coaching Masters again. And I was like, “What? Why?” But you answered and you told me why and I was like, “Those are really good reasons.” And so, now this round, there are two people; you and Britney Beer, who I’m sure will be on the podcast soon as well.

And two people are in it for a second round, and I’m curious for you, especially for you because we have different coaching styles, how has it been helpful for you and what was the thing that made you think, “Yeah, I totally want to do that again?”

Sheri: So, I waited until like, what, I think you were closing enrolment at like six or something and I shot her a text at like five, “Hey.”

Lindsay: It may have been like 5:50…

Sheri: Exactly. I’m like, so you can tell me I need to get stuff together but here’s what I’m thinking. So, I just loved the first round. So, here, I’m going to be completely honest and vulnerable around it. So, the first round, I was scared shitless. I was like, “Oh my god, I don’t even deserve to be in this room. All of these women are powerhouses.”

And I was just like, I’m in it because I need to be and I want to learn, right? I wasn’t in it because I had anything to offer. And then, I made it through that first round, had a baby during it…

Lindsay: Literally the last week of the mastermind.

Sheri: Yeah, so I had all of the emotions during that time. Entered COVID, all of the things. And I realized, out of all of the programs that I had done, I grew the most by being in that mastermind. And even though I had that feeling so, like, “I’m not even supposed to be in this room. Everybody is so much better than I am.” And then this time around, my mentality was completely different of, like, “Oh no. I’m part of the powerhouse team that is going to be in here and I have so much to offer. And my insight is probably going to be very different from a lot of these other coaches.”

And even the shift in that energy of just, yeah, I deserve to be here, I want to be here. I think I texted you after the very first call like, “Oh my gosh, my mind was just blown.” And you were like, “We covered that in the first one. It must have just landed differently.”

And so, I think that’s so true about coaching just in general. You can hear it a million times and then eventually it’s just going to land and it’s going to open you up. And I think I just innately knew that that was going to happen because I knew that I was shifting, and it was like the residual effects from the first mastermind.

So, I was like, “Oh no.” I thought clearer. I self-coached so much more. I put to use the tools that I was learning there and journaled more and just really saw myself from a standpoint of, like, you are a powerhouse coach and people want what you have to offer. So, hell yeah you deserve to be in that room. And you’re not going to freaking miss it. So, text your friend and coach and say, “Hey, can I come?”

Lindsay: And I said, “Yeah, fill out the application like everybody else.”

Sheri: Yeah. I was like, “Damn.” No.

Lindsay: So funny. She does get to text me, but she doesn’t get special privileges.

Sheri: That is true. And I wouldn’t want them, you know.

Lindsay: And so, what is actually really interesting about this round compared to the last one that you were in is I think there are so many coaches that – and this probably has become – I don’t know if I’m about to say my favorite thing about my own mastermind. But it has become one of my favorite things, that I attract all types of coaches. And this is the third round of the mastermind. And each round, that has become more apparent. And in this round, there are coaches all over the board that are certified all of the places. Some places I’ve never even heard of that when I saw it on their application, I Googled it just out of curiosity to see, what’s this certification that they have? There are people like you that have some – I don’t know what it’s called. Some kind of meditation something.

Sheri: Yeah, so I have mindfulness meditation and then reiki certified and then I’m also a licensed massage therapist, so all of that embodiment work. But I’m not a certified coach, which I had drama about too through the journey. And now, I’m like, totally embody it. Like, yeah, the work that I’m doing involves all the things that I do.

Lindsay: Yes, so there are people from more of that type of background, that type of coach, all the way to people who are a lot more like me, maybe have certification through the Life Coach School, which is where I’m certified, or IPEC or one of the other big schools that really focuses more on mindset. And it’s just really fun because I think one of the main things that I really want to just shout from the rooftops in the coaching industry is that there’s just not a right way and that every way is the right way and you’re going to be the right way for your people.

And so, this round, it’s just really fun for me to watch everyone, even the interaction on the page, because we have a private Facebook community. And on the page, someone will ask for coaching and they might get coaching from five different people and it’s five completely different things.

There will be some really good questions. Then there’s you who steps in with, “You’ve got to feel it in your heart,” and whatever. That’s not exactly what you say but that’s always my interpretation of it. I’m like, feel it in my heart.

Sheri: Well, if you haven’t seen my response today, I was even laughing when I did it today. I was like, “I know that this is the exact coaching that you were looking for.” It was to Britney.

Lindsay: Britney and I are like the same person. In our head, all the time. Whatever you say to me, you probably have to say to her. She needs it too. So, I don’t even know if I was going to ask a question with that. I just think it’s so fun for me. And since I’ve been your coach for a while it’s just so, so fun to see you go from the person who is like, “Oh no, I’m going to be different in this room.” Literally, this sums up why I wanted to have you on today. Because you went from the person who is, “Oh no, I’m different and I’m scared to be in this room and I just need to learn whatever they know.” Versus, “I’m different and that’s what makes me amazing. That’s what makes me the best coach. And for sure I’m going to show up to learn, but I’m also here to participate and share my stuff.

Sheri: Yeah, and I feel that so much. And I love it. I think that people want community. People are looking for guidance, and I’ll say sisterhood or, like, understanding. And I think that you’ve created such a beautiful space in that where, you know, I love all of the women in both of the masterminds that I have been in of yours.

And when I think about those individuals, I’m like, they just make me a better person too. I learn so much just by listening and watching and seeing their growth and celebrating them, and then so as a participant, I know how it feels. As a leader, you know, it’s something that I’m like, “I can’t wait to have that for my own business.” Because I know how powerful it is.

Lindsay: So fun. So, I am launching Coaching Masters again in a few weeks from when this podcast comes out. And is there anything else, first of all, for a person who told you already, you know this, I don’t love to feel emotion, I got a little choked up when you were talking a few minutes ago. Because you didn’t tell me all those things. I’m so glad that you told me today. But is there anything else you would add if someone is on the fence or thinking about joining?

Sheri: Here’s the deal. It’s like, do it. I mean, literally, just do it because you will walk away – there is not a possibility that you won’t walk away just like forever grateful, forever changed, forever all of the things. You can literally – also, what I really, really love is she gives application and tools that I will jump off the call and jump onto my coaching call and I’m like, “Oh perfect.” I just immediately put it in my toolbox, and I use it. and it’s just so beautiful. And I love it.

And so, don’t be on the fence. Trust yourself. Trust the reason that you’re following her and, like, the going back and forth, the internal conflict of should I or shouldn’t I, like, yes you totally should. Not just because of all the amazingness that you will learn, but just being in Lindsay’s presence, I can say because I have been friends with her for 20 years, I saw her and was like, “We’re going to be best friends.” And she really embodies just that energy of love and support. And you need to be a part of it.

Lindsay: I love that. Thank you so much. And I feel the same about you. You know that. That is literally how we met, for anyone listening who’s curious. We met in class and we literally just said, “Can we just be friends? We’re best friends, right?” And we’ve been best friends ever since.

Okay, last and most important question, how can people work with you? How can they find you? What do they do? What do they say? How do they get in your radar immediately?

Sheri: Yes, so friend me, follow me. So, on Facebook, Sheri – I’m going to spell all of it because everybody always gets it wrong – Sheri Catt Strzelecki. That’s Facebook. Instagram is @centeredsoulspace and then on my website, centeredsoulspace.com. And I would love to connect with any and all of you in any capacity that I can.

Lindsay: And we will also put all of that in the show notes so that they can go there. It’s perfect, some people won’t want to go there because they’ll be in too much of a hurry to find you because they love you already. But all of that will be in the show notes, all the links, all the ways that you can get ahold of Sheri. Trust me, you need her in your life.

Sheri: And just a side note. I am doing, if anyone wants to try out this work that I was kind of describing to Lindsay of how I work with my clients, I am doing a one-on-one six-week workshop and enrollment is only through the end of January. And it’s an amazing price of $222. And I’m just going to teach you all the things of how to embody just all of it. It’s my gift for the holiday.

Lindsay: Wow, you need to get coaching on that. I’m just kidding. I love that. Everybody should do it. Make sure to join. That is a steal. She will never sell anything less than that, I guarantee it.

Sheri: Never again. My counsel has spoken.

Lindsay: That’s right. Thank you so much for being on. I am so grateful for you. And I’m sure I’ll talk to you later today.

Sheri: Thank you for having me. I love you. Thank you so much.

Lindsay: I love you.

—

I hope you enjoyed this conversation as much as we did. And if you’re interested in learning more about Coaching Masters, make sure you head to my website and join the email list so you can be the first to know about the next launch date, which is coming up in just a few weeks. Bye.

If you enjoyed today’s show and don’t want to miss an episode, you can subscribe on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you usually listen. If you haven’t already, I would really appreciate it if you would leave a rating and review to let me know what you think and to help others find Mastering Coaching Skills.

Obviously, I hope you love the content and are already on your way to being a better coach. If so, let me know by leaving a five-star review with your favorite takeaways. That being said, I do want your honest feedback so I can be sure this podcast is relevant and useful for you.

Please visit lindsaydotzlafcoaching.com/podcastlaunch for step-by-step instructions on how to subscribe, rate, and review Mastering Coaching Skills today. See you next time.

Thanks for listening to this episode of Mastering Coaching Skills. If you want to learn more about my work, come visit me at lindsaydotzlafcoaching.com. That’s Lindsay with an A, D-O-T-Z-L-A-F.com. See you next week.