Lindsay Dotzlaf: Hey, this is Lindsay Dotzlaf and you are listening to Mastering Coaching Skills episode 298.

To really compete in the coaching industry, you have to be great at coaching. That’s why every week, I will be answering your questions, sharing my stories, and offering tips and advice so you can be the best at what you do. Let’s get to work.

Hey, Coach, I have a really, very fun conversation for you today that I cannot wait for you to hear. Today, I am talking to Amanda Stark, who is a coach who has helped hundreds of women put themselves first without feeling guilty or feeling like a bad person. And we talk about so many things, but several things that I’ve actually never talked about on the podcast before that hopefully, you will find quite interesting and helpful for you.

So first, we talk about Human Design because it’s part of what she includes in her coaching. And I just want you to know, if you have no idea what Human Design is, that’s okay. She’s going to describe it. But also, if you are experienced in Human Design and you are a regular podcast listener, this episode might be really fun for you because she does talk all about my design and gives you all the details behind it.

So if you’ve ever listened and maybe guessed at, you know, what my Human Design is and taken a stab at it, she’s going to confirm if you are right or wrong. She also talks about hers, of course, and how she uses this mixed with the mindset coaching and all of the coaching that she does.

We also talk about what it’s like to work in someone else’s community because, like me, at one point, she was a coach in someone else’s and quite a popular, actually, community, which you’ll hear more about in the episode, and how that can affect your own coaching. So I really hope you enjoy this conversation. I can’t wait to hear what you think. With no further ado, here is my conversation with Amanda.

Hello, hello. Thank you so much for being here. I’m so excited to have this conversation with you. How about introduce yourself? Tell everybody who you are and what you do.

Amanda Stark: Thank you so much for having me. I’m excited to be here. I am Amanda Stark. I am a Human Design coach, and I help women make their lives easier and put themselves first using Human Design.

Lindsay Dotzlaf: And you are in Reimagine, so I know a lot about your business, and we’ll talk about that a little bit later. But the only reason I’m saying it now is because recently, you actually came to my house. We had a VIP session, which was something that you, that was part of your Reimagine package, and we were talking all about your business and about Human Design. And I was like fully fascinated, and I was like, “We must talk about this on the podcast.”

So I’m so excited you’re here. I’m so excited to have this conversation. And for anybody that has been listening for a long time, you might remember, I don’t know, years ago, I said, “I had an interview with someone,” and we were like, “All you need is to focus on…” you know, I don’t even remember exactly what we said, not mindset specifically, but like, “Stop going and finding all these other tools.”

And I’ve kind of changed my opinion on that now. And I’m just so curious how, first tell me how you got into coaching, and then we’ll transition into like, and then where did Human Design come in.

Amanda Stark: Yeah, absolutely. I will say I don’t think you necessarily need other tools. I was not searching for a tool when I discovered Human Design. But yeah, so I’ll back up. So how I discovered coaching, I was working in a very high-intensity job that kind of consumed my whole life. It was sort of my whole identity. And I left that job and was kind of adrift. I didn’t really know what I wanted to do next. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to stay in the same industry that I was in, if I wanted to do something different completely.

And I was just putting everything on the table, and that’s when I found coaching. I actually hired a coach myself, and then I think that happens to a lot of people then you’re like, “This is amazing.” And so she recommended The Life Coach School to me, which is where I got certified. I had never even heard of them before. So then I signed up for certification kind of not really knowing anything about it and got certified. Loved coaching.

So that’s how I started in coaching. And then after I’d been coaching for probably a year and a half, maybe two years, probably maybe like a year and a half, I was in a business mastermind, and part of that mastermind, the coach who ran it, brought in some guest experts to do workshops for us.

And one of the guest experts was a Human Design person, and she did a workshop for us. And I had never heard of Human Design before, which mystifies me because I’ve always been into like astrology and those kind of things. And there’s four layers of Human Design, which I can talk about, but one of them is astrology and one of them is the chakra system, both of which I was very familiar with. But then I had never heard of Human Design.

So this workshop was like a 90-minute workshop, and it just blew my mind. I was like, “This is the most amazing thing I’ve ever heard about in my life.” By the end of the workshop, I had ordered like three books and signed up for a class. I was like, “I must know everything about this.”

And at first, I just wanted to know about it for me. I was like, “I need to know everything about my own design.” But then the more I learned about it, then I’m like pulling my friend’s charts. I am like telling them all about themselves. I was like literally starting every sentence with like, “Well, but in your chart, blah, blah, blah.” And then I was like that annoying person.

And so then it just became obvious that I needed to use it in my coaching because it almost felt like I was hiding something by not using it in my coaching because it had been such an amazing tool for me and it had been so life-changing in my own life and in my own relationships that it’s like, “Why wouldn’t I share it with my clients?” So that’s how it got added to my coaching.

Lindsay Dotzlaf: Yes, I love that. I love that story. So when you were here, you did read my chart. And did you guess what I was before you did it? And were you right?

Amanda Stark: Some things I was right about. I was wrong about your profile actually. I knew you were a projector just because you had talked about that before. So I knew that going in. Just based on some things that you had said, I’d had a guess about your profile, and I was wrong about that. But some other things about your chart that I was right about.

Lindsay Dotzlaf: I wonder, do you think it would be interesting for the people listening who are familiar with Human Design if you tell them what yours is and maybe what mine is?

Amanda Stark: Yeah, sure. So you are and we have a lot of similarities too, actually. So you are a one-three emotional projector, and I’m a one-three emotional generator. So and I just thought based on different things that you had said, I had guessed your profile as a two-five, not as a one-three. But those qualities showed up elsewhere in your chart.

Lindsay Dotzlaf: I’m still not fully sure what that means, but I figure we should say it for the people who are like, “But wait, I know all about this, like tell me, tell me everything.”

Amanda Stark: I have a guess too. Am I right?

Lindsay Dotzlaf: Yeah, exactly. Yeah. For sure. People are listening and you have guessed my Human Design, I want to know, like were you right, tell me. And tell Amanda, she probably wants to know as well. Okay, so all right, we’ll come back, I got a little distracted, to, so coaching, Human Design, and now you combine kind of all of it, and that’s what you use to work with your clients. And how tell me what the like what makes it different for you from just using the coaching tools that you had previously?

Amanda Stark: Yeah, so I think the big difference is I have a better understanding of my clients. So I don’t necessarily tell my clients all about their own design or do a deep dive unless they want to know. Some of my clients want to know more and they ask more questions. But I really think of that as like my job to understand their design.

But then when things come up that we’re coaching on, you know, depending on what we’re working on, you know, I have a really clear understanding, you know, how do they make decisions? How do they process information? Where do they take on energy from other people? You know, where would they maybe be more susceptible to taking on other people’s belief systems, for example. That’s one common one that comes up.

You know, so then I can just take that into consideration with how I coach them because I would coach somebody differently, you know, based on what comes up in their chart. It also just helps with recognizing certain patterns that they might have and certain strengths, you know, leaning into where they’re stronger to help with strategies as opposed to offering strategies for someone that is just really not going to be successful for them because that’s not how they’re naturally inclined.

Lindsay Dotzlaf: Yeah, that makes sense. What do your, do some of your clients like really love it? They want to know every, I feel like if I were working with a coach and this was a tool we were using, I would just have so many questions. I’d want to know every single thing about it. I’m guessing that probably shows up in my chart somewhere, whatever. But is that, do you have clients that are like that?

Amanda Stark: Yes, that’s your line one in your profile. That is what that is in your chart. But yes, I mean, yeah, I definitely have clients that when stuff comes up, they’re always like, “I’m sure this is in my chart, or where is this in my chart?” you know, and they want to know or, you know, once they’ve been working with me for a while, they also recognize it like, “Oh, I know what this is.”

And it helps them kind of name and identify some of their ongoing patterns or things that come up for them in different areas of life. It’s like, “Oh, we’ve, you know, dealt with it over here, but now I’m seeing it over here and I know why that is, but we need to work through it over here.” So yeah, I definitely have clients that’s like always want to know where it’s showing up in their chart or how I’m identifying it.

And then I have other clients that they’re like, “I don’t care. I just want you to help me.” Like, you figure that out. It doesn’t make any sense to me. So and it kind of depends on how they come to me. If they come to me because they’re really interested in Human Design, those are the ones that tend to obviously want to know more about their chart and more about their design than if they just, you know, found me and it’s like, “Oh, Human Design’s interesting. Sure. You can tell me about that.”

Lindsay Dotzlaf: Mmhmm. I am curious. So when I first found coaching and coaching tools, and I know I’ve talked about this on the podcast before, and so many people bring this up where it’s kind of like you get so excited about it and you want to just coach everybody without consent. And it can be a little like aggressive because you’re just so excited. And I’m curious if the same is true for Human Design. Like the people in your house, are they like, “Okay, I get it.”

Amanda Stark: A little bit. Certainly when I first got into it, you know, when I was pulling everybody’s charts and, you know, wanting to talk about it all the time. I think the more I’ve learned about it, like now it’s just like kind of ingrained in how I interact with the people in my house. Like for example, my daughters are both projectors. They both have the same profile. They’re both projectors, but they have different authorities. So they make decisions in different ways.

So just like over the years since I’ve learned that, like I it’s how I talk to them differently when they have to make decisions, help them process it differently. So it’s less about me like throwing it at them then just like how I interact with them based on their design.

Lindsay Dotzlaf: Mmhmm.

Amanda Stark: But definitely when I meet new people, if they show any kind of interest, I can be like, “Well, do you want me to read your chart for you? Do you like if you know your birth information, I can tell you about it.” Like I, it’s always like right there if anybody shows any spark of interest, I’m always willing to talk about it.

Lindsay Dotzlaf: I love it. Do most people know their birth time just like off the top of their head?

Amanda Stark: Not really, which is actually very funny. I have a quick funny story about this. When I first met my now husband, which for people that obviously wouldn’t know, I just got married in November, so my husband met me after I discovered Human Design, so he’s not known me before this. And on maybe our second or third date, I asked for his birth information, and he did know his birth time off the top of his head, and I was like, “This is a good sign.”

Lindsay Dotzlaf: That’s so funny. I have so many questions about that. I’m like, how? First, like what, how would he know that? Why does he know that? Unless you’re into, I mean, I know people are really, you know, into astrology or into these types of things. Of course, because they know it, they’ve looked it up. But that’s always my thing whenever I’m having any work like this done, I’m always like, how do people just know their birth time? I don’t know.

Okay, so what, I feel like I want to almost like ask you like what are the questions that I could ask you that might be interesting about Human Design? I feel like I almost don’t know enough about it to like ask the right questions for the listeners to be like intrigued or to understand it better.

Amanda Stark: Yeah, I mean, I can for people that don’t know anything about Human Design, I can just kind of explain briefly like what it is and then kind of what I think is most useful about it. Because something you said to me when after I did your reading is that you liked how I talked about it in a way that it’s like you can actually use it in your life.

Lindsay Dotzlaf: Yes it felt very practical, like not I’ve heard other, and there’s nothing against them, just I’ve heard other Human Design people talk about it in a way that I was like, “Ooh, it’s like very mystical and like mysterious” kind of. And the way you talked about it was very like, “Oh, right.” It’s like tangible.

Amanda Stark: Yes. Yeah, I try to make it very tangible and practical. So for people that don’t know anything about it, just like a brief overview of Human Design, it is a channeled system. It was channeled by a person, and it’s fairly new in the history of mystical practices. So it’s been around since the seventies. And it is comprised of four different things. So it’s based on astrology, it’s based on the chakra system, it’s based on the Kabbalah, and it’s based on the Chinese I Ching.

So your chart is actually a composite of those four things layered on top of each other, which I think is what makes Human Design really fascinating and really useful is because since it combines all of those elements together, you get a lot more nuanced information than you would get with like just astrology, for example.

And like I love astrology. I read my daily horoscope every single day, but I think it just gives you like a lot more nuance into your like own personality and how you operate and like are in the world than any one of those elements by themselves can, which is why I love it.

So that’s what Human Design is comprised of. And then I like it and why I think it’s so amazing for coaching is one, it like tells you how you like innately are designed to operate both on a conscious level and a subconscious level. So there’s things that it’s like you might do that you’re not like fully aware of, but then once it’s pointed out to you, you’re like, “Oh, yeah, that does make sense. That is how I operate.” So that can really be helpful. And your authority is how you are supposed to make decisions.

And so just knowing that, I think if that’s all you ever learn about your Human Design, that can be a game changer because there’s seven different authorities. And so if you’re making decisions one way, like for example, you and I both have emotional authority, which means we often need to sit with decisions and not make spontaneous or quick decisions. We need to be in like a very calm, neutral place, not based on the mood of the day, those kinds of things.

So like we tend to need a little more time to make decisions. So if it’s like the advice like, “Just go with your first reaction, like go with your gut instinct,” like that’s terrible advice for us. Like that gets us into situations we don’t want to be in and puts us on the wrong track. Lindsay Dotzlaf: My twenties, that was my twenties.

Amanda Stark: Yeah. I have definitely done that and not ended up in great places. But for someone with sacral authority, that’s perfect advice. That is what they should do. They should go with their first gut reaction every single time. And where they get into trouble is if they don’t do that, and then they start second guessing themselves or, you know, seeking other people’s advice and then override their first gut instinct.

So that’s like a super practical way to use Human Design is just like how do you make decisions and start using that to make decisions and use that in your daily life. But I mean, there’s all sorts of ways to use Human Design. I mean, use it to structure your to-do list, use it in your relationships, use it in, you know, how you conduct yourself at a work meeting. I mean, there’s all sorts of like super tangible useful ways that knowing your Human Design can make things better and easier for you.

Lindsay Dotzlaf: Mmhmm. And what do you, like what are the main, I don’t know if you can answer this, that might be too broad of a question, but what are like the main areas or the main ways you’ve used it, like personally in your life?

Amanda Stark: Yeah. So authority, obviously with making decisions. And then how I’ve used it, and it’s kind of broad, but you can anybody that knows anything about it, you can narrow it for you. I always recommend then people look at their open centers. So the centers in Human Design are what are the piece that’s based on the chakra system. So there’s nine centers, so the chakra system, there’s only seven, in Human Design, there’s nine.

But your open centers are where you take on energy from other people. So like your defined centers is where you’re consistent. Like you have solid, that’s your own energy. You’re not influenced really by what’s going on around you or by other people. Your open centers, that’s where you can take that energy on. Like in Life Coach School speak, that’s where you can hold your limiting beliefs in different areas. So that, I think, is a really good place to focus.

So like for me, I have three open centers. So I just spent time on those three areas to start, you know, so one for me, for example, is I have an open root center. And with that, you can feel very like rushed, frantic, you have to get everything done. Like time can feel like your enemy. You’re always rushing through the day. You can’t rest until your to-do list is done.

And I just put a lot of effort into working on my relationship with time with that understanding. Like knowing what triggers me, knowing like what that feels like. It can feel like an adrenaline rush, like when you feel like you’re behind. So I mean, I could talk about this forever, but like that’s one of the ways that it has helped me and, you know, and then apply to each of the centers.

But that’s something that I talk about a lot, that I work on with my clients a lot, and that’s after authority, that’s what I recommend people look at in their Human Design is their open centers because that also impacts your relationship. Like if you, whether your partner, your kids, your work colleagues, like especially if one person has a defined center and the other person has that center open, your energies are interacting with each other.

So like just one other quick example, there’s, you know, a center that I have defined and my husband has open. So like we can be having conversations and I think I’m just like relaying information or just like talking things through and he’s like, “Why do you always have to be right? Like, why can’t like, why can’t I ever be the one who’s right?”

And I’m like, “Oh my goodness, that’s I didn’t think we were arguing. Like I wasn’t trying to be right,” but it’s how he’s receiving my energy because of those two centers. And just being aware of that has really helped both of us just that it’s like, “Oh no, that’s just how we are receiving each other in this conversation. Like neither one of us is trying to start a fight.” And that can just really help us de-escalate.

Lindsay Dotzlaf: Yeah. And does he ever use this information against you? Knowing like the things that you’ve told him about your Human Design?

Amanda Stark: No, he’s pretty good about that. I mean, he doesn’t, he’s not super into it, but like he’ll go with me when I explain something and like use it if he finds it helpful. Although actually, after I did your reading and I was talking to him, he was like, “I think you need to do another one for me. I need to remember more stuff about my chart.” So, because I did a full one for him like when we first started dating and then I’ll just like throw snippets at him when it’s relevant. But he’s like, “No, we need to sit down with my chart again. I need to know more about this.” And I was like, “Okay.”

Lindsay Dotzlaf: That’s so nice. Maybe he’s more into it than you think he is.

Amanda Stark: He’s just supportive.

Lindsay Dotzlaf: He’s secretly curious.

Amanda Stark: That may be true.

Lindsay Dotzlaf: Another thing I just think is interesting that we haven’t dug into this part yet, but you actually worked for The Life Coach School. And so you were like very in like coaching wise, very in on using the model. And at what point, like did you learn about Human Design while you were working for The Life Coach School?

Amanda Stark: Yes.

Lindsay Dotzlaf: Okay. Was that tricky? And we’ll get into like, actually maybe say first, like what were you, what were you doing for them and assume the listener doesn’t know anything about The Life Coach School when you describe it.

Amanda Stark: Yeah. Yeah. So I coached in Scholars, which was The Life Coach School’s like public program, I guess, for lack of a better term. So The Life Coach School had a certification program that you were in if you wanted to get certified as a coach.

But then they had self-coaching Scholars, which was open to anyone, whether you were a coach or not. It was a membership that you could sign up for. They had courses that you could take, and then as part of your membership, you got a weekly coaching session with one of the Scholars coaches, and I was one of the Scholars coaches.

And I was a coach there for two and a half, maybe three years. I’ve lost track of the years now. But for several years, I was a coach in Scholars. And so I definitely coached for thousands of hours in self-coaching Scholars because you had an hourly requirement and then it was 20-minute or 40-minute sessions. So I coached a lot of people in Scholars.

Lindsay Dotzlaf: Mmhmm. I’m always so curious about these 20, so okay, full disclosure for everybody that’s listening. I mean people know I got certified through The Life Coach School. I also got a year of Scholars with my certification. I never once used any of the coaching sessions. So because I had I just had coaches, right? I was like, “I don’t know that I need more coaching.” And I didn’t like actively sign up for it. It just came with my certification.

And so I’m always so curious about these 20-minute sessions, like that, and especially, and I guess this is where I find it interesting thinking about you, especially thinking about kind of that Human Design element, the bigger picture, the like taking all of it into account when you’re coaching someone versus the more like lasered, like let me you know, coach you on this one thing that you’re bringing. Do they feel like opposites to you in the way that I’m thinking about it? Or no?

Amanda Stark: I don’t know about opposites. They definitely are different. Definitely in the 20-minute session, I mean, some in some ways you’d be surprised what you can get through in a 20-minute session, but there’s no room for fluff, right? Like you got to get in there and focus on what is the issue at hand today.

Lindsay Dotzlaf: Yep.

Amanda Stark: But so you do have to be super focused. But no, there’s no space to like figure out like, “Is this a pattern for you?” Like, you know, unless they’ve had that awareness or, you know, where that’s coming from, that kind of thing. Now, some time after I discovered Human Design and started talking about it like on, you know, my socials and all of that, some people would come to a session and be like, “I’m a projector” or whatever.

But like I only have the amount of information that they’re able to tell me, which is very different than me looking at their chart and having that kind of insight. So sometimes I would be able to give a little bit of a helpful tip or instruction based on what they would tell me, but… Lindsay Dotzlaf: Yeah.

Amanda Stark: Often no. Sometimes I would guess about people like I do about other people in my life, but yeah, it is very different where you just like, and the expectation was obviously that you just used The Life Coach school model in coaching. So I had to stick to that. But yeah, it is different and it’s much more…

Lindsay Dotzlaf: Which makes sense. And also, I’m thinking like on your side, it had to have been like, “Oh, but I really want to like dig in here. Like do this other thing.”

Amanda Stark: Yes, and it definitely is a more, I guess maybe this is where it feels if not opposite like the biggest difference, it’s a very like cerebral, like all in your head, it’s all mindset, change your thoughts kind of coaching, which I coach that way to a certain extent, but I do think there’s, you know, we all have our natural ways of doing things.

And sometimes you’re just hardwired a certain way, and like sometimes it’s easier not to fight with your thoughts and just be like, “Okay, this is the way that I am. Like, let’s figure out a strategy that works with the way that I am,” which is not really something that fit in The Life Coach School way of doing things.

Lindsay Dotzlaf: Yeah, I, there have been so many times, I haven’t thought about this in a long time because it’s been so long since I was in The Life Coach School, like in certification or in, you know, like feeling like I’ve had a lot of Life Coach School coaches around me. But I used to always say like to my clients, I would say, “You know, I just have to tell you, like you could change your thoughts. But don’t tell anybody I said this, there’s also so many other things you could change.”

And they’d be like, “What?” I’m like, “Yeah, that’s real.” Like circumstances, you could just change them if you want to. So, yeah. I always your goals, the like what is it that you’re working towards? We could like there’s a lot of options. Thoughts are just one of them.

Okay, so now, I guess now that we brought The Life Coach School into the conversation, I’m curious what it was like for you to kind of have like be working there. This is something I can relate to, by the way, right? I’ve been in other people’s coaching spaces, using their models, I guess, for lack of a better term. And had to be very mindful that it’s like, “This is what I’m doing here, and then I have my whole practice over here.” Was any part of that like tricky for you or was it very kind of natural?

Amanda Stark: It was tricky. There were definitely parts that were tricky. You know, besides what we’ve already talked about, you know, I didn’t necessarily use all of the tools that were taught or follow all of the things that were said myself. But people would come into sessions assuming that I did.

So you know, it’s like, “Oh, how did you, how do you use such and such thing?” And then, I always felt a little caught because it’s like I don’t want to say like, “I don’t use that because I don’t like it or like it doesn’t work for me or whatever.” You know, because it’s like I didn’t want to say that. So you know, it’s be kind of creative and just like turning it around on them or like, “Oh, what, you know, have you tried it?” Lindsay Dotzlaf: Why are you asking?

Amanda Stark: Right? Yes. Like are you having trouble with it? Lindsay Dotzlaf: I relate so much to this. I know exactly what you’re talking about. Yes. Instead of just saying, “Oh, I don’t.”

Amanda Stark: Right. Right. Because like I never really felt like I wanted to say that or that was appropriate to say. And so that I felt tricky. That was tricky sometimes. Or then just especially towards the end of my time there, there were just decisions being made and things being done that I didn’t agree with.

And so then it sometimes felt a little hard to like be a representative of something that, you know, even though I felt still felt like I was doing a lot of good as a coach and was making a difference that way that it was, you know, still that like little bit of a disconnect of like, “I’m not sure the values are totally aligned.”

But so yeah, I mean, I think that’s hard anytime you work for somebody else, you know, in any kind of program, but I think coaching is a little unique in that way because you do like have that even if somebody you are only coaching once for 20 minutes, there is like a relationship formed because you learn something about them and help them through something. And so it does feel a little different than just like, “I’m your cashier at the grocery store” or whatever.

Lindsay Dotzlaf: Yeah, and I don’t know how many of you there were, but I’m guessing you had repeat clients that you would coach in those sessions. Amanda Stark: Oh, yeah, definitely. Like I tended to work the same hours. And so, you know, people are creatures of habit, right? So like if a time works for you, like you keep booking that time. So I would see people a lot of the same time. People were in Scholars for long periods of time.

So yes, there were people I saw only once and then there were people that I saw almost every week for the entire time that I worked in Scholars. So yes, there were people that I definitely got to know very well over the period of time that I was there.

Lindsay Dotzlaf: I also know a little behind the scenes of people telling me like, “Well, you could kind of figure out. Like you kind of knew,” because they couldn’t request you, right? But they would tell me like, “But you can kind of know. Like you would figure out when your favorite coaches were usually like scheduling their sessions, and that’s how you would kind of book with the same one,” which I thought was funny. But I understand that for sure. I would probably want to do that, I think.

So then when you kind of, say, transitioned out of that role and really just focused on your business, did it take any time for you to kind of figure out like what’s mine, what’s not, like what is my style?

Amanda Stark: Yes, definitely, especially not as much in my coaching sessions, I don’t think. Although it, I feel like the more distance I’ve gotten from that, the less I feel like that’s my like go-to structure, maybe I would say is like I feel like I have kind of gotten farther away from that and have a different structure than where I was spending so many hours doing that before that just kind of became my default even in my own sessions when I was, you know, talking about more things.

But I think the hardest part was probably how I talked publicly just about coaching in general, like even outside like outside of Human Design specifically, just that has shifted over time just because one, it felt hard to talk about coaching any other way when I was coaching in Scholars.

But then also just again, the more distance I’ve gotten from it, my perspective has evolved over time, and so it’s easier to feel clear on what my own thoughts are on coaching and what it is and how I do it and that kind of thing. So that was probably the hardest part of just getting out of like, “There is one way to do mindset coaching,” and that has evolved for me over time.

Lindsay Dotzlaf: Yeah, yeah, I definitely can relate to that as well. When I was coaching, you know, in a, in another program, it was a business coaching program, and it, I knew I had different opinions about some of the things, but it I knew the method, and I could coach on it all day. And so for so long, I was just like, “I am not a business coach. Like absolutely not. This is not what I do. No.”

And then over years, it just became so obvious like, “Okay, actually,” it was like I was avoiding it so much just kind of like, “No, like don’t even want to think about it. I’m definitely not a business coach.”

And then it just became so obvious like it is actually part of what I do, a big part of what I do, but it took me a while to really see that and know like, “Oh right, like and here’s my method. Here’s what I,” you know, whatever. Here’s how I would teach it or here’s here’s how I would approach it. But I’ve had this thing where I’m like, “Oh, it’s so freeing,” and I wonder if you feel that. It’s like so much more fun over here doing my own thing.

Amanda Stark: Yes, yes, 100%. It is. And I mean, I loved coaching in Scholars. I loved but like choosing your own clients is different than when you are coaching somebody else’s clients. You know, so that is so much more fun. And then just not feeling like I have to censor what I say or have any restrictions or that there’s rules about how I talk about anything. Yes, it does feel very free, and I think the more I feel that, the more I lean into that, you know, I think the better I am at coaching and the more fun I have talking about it.

Lindsay Dotzlaf: Yeah. It’s been really fun for me watching you kind of step even more into that within even just within like our time in Reimagine. So I love seeing it. And I should probably be very clear and you probably feel similarly, at least partially to what I’m about to say.

I loved coaching in the business program I was in. This has nothing to do with that, more just to do with like my own thought development and I don’t know how to say it, but I was just like, I was so, I loved doing that and it was so a well-worn path in my brain of like, “Oh right, this is how we coach on business.” And yeah, it’s just been really fun over here not doing that.

Amanda Stark: Yes, exactly that. I loved coaching in Scholars and, you know, I love so many of the people that I got to coach, and it was a wonderful opportunity and, you know, I started coaching in Scholars as soon as I got certified and then did it for years. I would do it again in a second. I loved it and I love what I’m doing now also.

Lindsay Dotzlaf: Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Okay, what else? Like when it comes to your coaching and combining like all of the things, finding your own style, is there anything else about that that has felt, I don’t know, that’s like feels important for you to talk about or that you have had to like, I don’t know, what am I asking? Like how to you’ve had to work hard on like getting kind of on the other side of.

Amanda Stark: Yeah, I think what I’ll say, and this, I think ties into a couple of questions that you asked. So another one of my open centers for me is, it’s called a bunch of different… So I’m going to say all the names depending on who you for anybody that knows Human Design, depending on who you’ve learned from, you might call it something different. Okay, so it’s called the G center, the identity center, or the heart center. So that’s the one I’m talking about regardless of who you’ve…

Lindsay Dotzlaf: No arguing over what we’re going to call it. Just one of those three works perfectly.

Amanda Stark: That’s the one I’m talking about. Mine is open. And… Lindsay Dotzlaf: What do you call it? Do you, is this like controversial? Do you not want to say?

Amanda Stark: No, I don’t think I don’t think it’s controversial. It’s just depending on what chart you pull or like who you’ve heard it from, you might call it something different. I tend to call it the heart center or the identity center. I don’t usually call it the G center, but it is called that sometimes.

So anyway, as it might sound like from the name identity center, it is where you can take on your identity, like where you kind of like how you know yourself. And mine is open. So another thing, which is kind of sort of what we were talking about, that I’ve really had to work on over my time as a coach is it’s very easy for me to be influenced by the group I’m in or, you know, the coach that I’m working with at the time and be like, “Okay, well, this is the way that I have to do it or this is how I’m supposed to present myself,” that kind of thing.

And it actually, even though I know this, I was not aware of it. It actually took somebody else pointing out to me. Like I was having a conversation with another coach and I said something and I don’t even remember what I said now at this point, but she goes, “Do you have an open identity center?” And I was like, “Yes.” And she goes, “Well, I think you need to work on that.” And I was like, “Oh, yeah, I think I do. You’re right.”

So which I will say is then one of the great things about working with you is because your approach is very much like figure out your own way of doing things, which was hard for me at the beginning when we first started working together, but it has been really good for me as well as opposed to like learning a process or like, “This is what, you know, I’m looking at your stuff and this is what you should focus on,” which I’ve also had coaches that even though they teach like figure out your own stuff, they would also look at your business or whatever and be like, “Yeah, but this is how like you should present yourself.”

And so then I’m like, “Right.” And then I’m like, “Great, I’ll do that.” So it’s very easy for me to do that. So I think that is another piece of this journey, all of it, the Human Design, the like coaching in someone else’s program and then leaving and then, you know, my own evolving coaching business has been really to like continue that work of like, “Who do I want to be as a coach? How do I want to present myself and like, as a result then what who do I want to call in?” right? Like that has a direct relationship with who you bring in. So I think that answers your question that you just asked.

Lindsay Dotzlaf: Yeah, totally. So good. Okay, one last, like, just kind of fun question. What is your favorite, this is because I love this about you, what is your favorite holiday and why?

Amanda Stark: Halloween, obviously. And why? Oh my gosh, there’s too many reasons to list. I’ll try to narrow it down to a few things. One, I mean, it’s the witch’s New Year, so I just love the energy of it and like the restart and just everything around that, like the mystical, historical significance of that. Also, I love shopping at Halloween time because I get a lot of my whole house decorations, not just my Halloween decorations when the Halloween decorations are out in the stores. So that part is amazing.

Lindsay Dotzlaf: Like what are we talking? Like bats and skeletons and stuff? Amanda Stark: No, I’m more of like the moon stuff and the witch stuff and spiders a little bit. I do like I have a thing for spiders, but.

Lindsay Dotzlaf: Oh, you lost me with spiders. Okay.

Amanda Stark: Yeah, I know. That loses people, but not a ton. It’s more of like the moon things and the witch things, not so much the bats and the skeletons. But yeah, those kind those are maybe my top two, but I could go on forever about all the reasons I love Halloween. It is for sure my favorite holiday.

Lindsay Dotzlaf: Do you like dressing up for Halloween?

Amanda Stark: I mean, to the extent that like I can wear all of my witch hats without standing out like I do the rest of the year. Yes.

Lindsay Dotzlaf: It’s so good. Okay. Yes. So the answer is yes. Did you love dressing your kids up for Halloween?

Amanda Stark: Yes. And when I all growing up, I loved dressing up for Halloween. And as a preview, I was a gypsy for like seven years in a row, I think, just like all the layers, all the makeup when I was a kid. So yeah, it I was foreshadowing who I was going to be as an adult for sure. I just didn’t know it yet.

Lindsay Dotzlaf: I’m really questioning this open identity situation because it really feels like you’ve known who you are for a very long time.

Amanda Stark: I just I am easily influenced by those around me. It’s I know who I am. I just can be swayed and forget.

Lindsay Dotzlaf: Okay. Okay, I love it. Okay, so last thing we can talk about is you are in Reimagine, and when this episode comes out, it will either be, I don’t know, it will either be open for, I don’t know exactly when this episode’s coming out, but it’ll either be open for enrollment or it will be very soon. And I’m just curious what you would tell someone that’s considering joining.

Amanda Stark: Well, absolutely. Anyone, they should definitely join Reimagine. It has been a fantastic experience. I’m so sad that it’s almost over, but I know it’s going to be happening again. I think it’s just been a wonderfully supportive environment. I both what like I love supporting other people in the group and then receiving support in the group. I pretty much reimagined my whole life and business while we’ve been in Reimagine this round. I’ve gotten married, I’ve bought a house, I’m moving.

I’ve made a ton of changes to my business and I’m loving everything. I’m feeling so energized and everything that I’m doing right now. So it has been a fantastic experience for me, but it’s just really been, like I said before, you are so great about, you know, letting everyone figure out their own way of doing things. I think it’s a great mix of structure like, “Okay, this is things for us to focus on and to figure out and reflect.”

But then it’s just a lot of like, “Okay, and now you implement that and I’ll support you as you implement,” as opposed to like we have our like six-month process where we do all do all these things together every week and everybody’s, you know, working on the same things and trying to like shove your business into that box. So, absolutely. I can’t say enough good things about Reimagine.

Lindsay Dotzlaf: I love it. I didn’t even consider the fact of you like literally reimagining so many things in your life. Now some of some of them were already happening. It’s not like you came into the mastermind and then like decided to get married and all the things, but you had so many like big transitions and what my experience of that was just supporting you in kind of your business and like what does that look like now as I’m doing this, making this change and doing this. And that was really fun for me too. So thank you for being there.

Amanda Stark: Yeah, it was amazing.

Lindsay Dotzlaf: All right, so let’s end with if people want to follow you, if they want to come find you and see all of the witchy magic that’s going on, where can they find you and is there anything else you want to tell them? Amanda Stark: Yes. So I do offer free Human Design mini readings. So if you are interested in that, you can go to my website, which is glitterandgravitas.com, and then at the top of all the pages, there is a button that says, “Get a mini reading.” So click that and you can fill out the form. Those mini readings, I record them on video and send them to you, and they are 100% personalized. It’s not like out of the box or pre-recorded or anything like that.

So if you want that, you can go to my website and get those, or you can follow me on Instagram, which is also glitterandgravitas, and I love to hang out there so you can come join me on Instagram.

Lindsay Dotzlaf: Okay, I have, I’m going to plug, do a plug for you and then I’m going to ask you a funny question. First, anybody listening, if you are not familiar with Human Design or even if you are, but especially if you’re not and you’re curious, I feel like this is such a good way to just learn, not necessarily like learn about Human Design, if that’s not what you’re looking for, but to learn something about yourself that you might feel like, at least this is how I felt. Like, “Wait, what? Oh my god. Like, how did you know this about me? And how did I not know this about me?”

And I don’t know, it’s just there’s there’s something about it, especially the way you make it very practical that is just really great. So I encourage everyone. I’m sure she’ll have a cap at some point, so like do it now while you’re listening. So that’s my plug. Everybody should do it.

My question is, have you seen people, if they’ve seen this, they’re going to be like, “What is happening right now?” Have you seen, I think it’s called Margo’s Got Money Troubles?

Amanda Stark: I haven’t seen it, but I did read the book, so I know the story.

Lindsay Dotzlaf: Okay. My husband and I are watching it, and last night, I literally thought of you because when she’s doing, I don’t know if it’s the same in the book and the movie, but when she joins Only Fans, and then she’s writing, like people are submitting pictures of parts of their body and then she’s assigning them like a character and writing about them. It literally reminded me of like you popped into my mind and I just needed you to know that because it’s so inappropriate and hilarious and I thought you would appreciate it.

Amanda Stark: Yes, I do appreciate.

Lindsay Dotzlaf: So now every time you do a reading, you’re going to be thinking of that scene.

Amanda Stark: Fantastic.

Lindsay Dotzlaf: I assume that happens in the book or something similar.

Amanda Stark: Yes, that does happen in the book.

Lindsay Dotzlaf: The show is really great.

Amanda Stark: I really liked the book. Yeah.

Lindsay Dotzlaf: Okay, well that is all. I had to end with on a funny note and I appreciate you being here today. Thank you so much for doing this.

Amanda Stark: Yeah, thank you for having me.

Lindsay Dotzlaf: Bye.

Thanks for listening to this episode of Mastering Coaching Skills. If you want to learn more about my work, come visit me at lindsaydotzlafcoaching.com. That’s Lindsay with an A, D-O-T-Z-L-A-F.com. See you next week.