Ep #84: Expansion Week

Hey, this is Lindsay Dotzlaf and you are listening to Mastering Coaching Skills episode 84

To really compete in the coaching industry, you have to be great at coaching. That’s why every week, I will be answering your questions, sharing my stories, and offering tips and advice so you can be the best at what you do. Let’s get to work.

Hey, Coach. Oh my gosh, I have something so fun for you today. I recently gathered a group of my clients and past clients, current clients, past clients, some coaches that coach for me in the Coach Lab. I asked a handful of them to join me for a week in Palm Springs. Throughout the week we started calling it expansion week.

I’m going to be recording a separate podcast completely just by myself talking about why I decided to do this, what we did throughout the week, what my takeaways were, what I learned from doing it and all of that. I will be sharing all of that with you.

But today I wanted to bring them all onto the podcast to talk about some interesting things that we learned throughout the week, some of our biggest takeaways. We talk about belonging, we talk about just all kinds of different things and I cannot wait for you to hear what they have to say.

So without further ado, I’m just going to drop you in in this amazing conversation. We’re all great friends, we have a lot of laughing but there are so many good nuggets and takeaways here that I hope you walk away with.

Lindsay: Hello, I am so excited to be here with you all today. I have a bunch of special guests on, we just had the most amazing week together. And I’m going to let them introduce themselves. And I’m going to have to call on you. I just realized there are so many of you I’m just going to say your name and then just give a brief introduction for everybody listening. Sheri go first.

Sheri: Hello, I’m Sheri Strzelecki, I’m a life and wellness coach and I am so excited to be here.

Lindsay: Brittany.

Brittany: Hello, I’m Brittany Deer and I’m a money mindset coach.

Lindsay: Brig.

Brig: Hi, I’m Brig Johnson and I coach high achieving Black women.

Lindsay: Kimberly.

Kimberly: Hi, I’m Kimberly Mathis and I am a general life coach.

Lindsay: Jennifer.

Jennifer: Hi, I’m Jennifer Dent Brown and I’m a life and weight loss coach and I help women learn to stop dieting forever.

Lindsay: And Jess.

Jess: Hi, I am Jess Johnson, I’m a life coach for life coaches and I help coaches manage their emotions so they can think clearly.

Lindsay: I have to say, first of all, that I just get chills seeing all of you say these things, being so confident in who you are and what you do. It’s so fun for me as someone who is either working with you now or has worked with you in the past.

And we are just here to share some, like I said in the beginning, we just had an amazing week together. I invited all of you as my clients and some of my past clients to come with me to Palm Springs, to California for the week and we didn’t really have a lot of plans.

There were two full days that were planned out where we filmed videos, we took a lot of pictures, a lot, a lot of pictures, which was really fun. But the rest of the week we had a couple dinners planned, but besides that it wasn’t really planned. And everybody left with just huge takeaways.

And I thought while we were still kind of in the energy of it that I thought I wanted to bring you together to just share some nuggets of wisdom and some takeaways with everyone that is listening.

So the first thing, so I kind of asked you guys like what are some things you want to talk about, and one thing that I think is so fun is that you decided, I did not name it this. But you all kind of got together, I wasn’t even there I don’t think when it happened. You didn’t invite me to that meeting. But you decided it was called expansion week, which I love. I’m obsessed with that name.

And it did feel like the perfect name. That’s exactly what happened, I think, for everyone, including myself. So I’m just curious for those of you that would love to share what does that mean for you? And why do you think that that’s a good name or title for what happened last week? Jennifer?

Jennifer: So I think the title actually came from, I think Brig and I were having a conversation about the trip. And she mentioned something about like we’re witnessing Lindsay’s expansion. And I totally grabbed onto that. And I was like, yeah. Because I wasn’t 100% sure what the week was going to be.

But when you extended the invitation I was like, “Yep, I’m in. I’m in, yes, yes, yes, yes. All the things.’ And so as I was thinking about it on the plane of like what did I want to walk away with and what was my intention and how did I want to show up for the week, I really went back to this thought I have of like exposure leads to expansion.

And being exposed to Lindsay’s vision for the week, being exposed to the other minds that Lindsay brought, you, Lindsay, brought together and just being exposed to like a week where I’m working, making money, but I’m still like hanging out and having these really thoughtful and introspective conversations and having fun. That just like blew my mind.

And so I feel like when you expanded, we all expanded. And so that’s why the expansion week title kind of stuck. Because I feel like we all expanded in some type of way.

Lindsay: I love that. Who wants to add anything to that? Oh, and actually, before I move on, Jennifer, you said you are now creating an expansion something experience for your clients. Just give us a super brief snippet of what does that mean? What does that look like?

Jennifer: Well, I haven’t had any in-person events with my people. And I’ve been thinking about it and so one of the things I wanted to do, I was like, well, we can do a dinner. A lot of my clients are on the East Coast, I’m on the East Coast, it would be nice to just bring my clients together for like a very special expansion event.

It’s not an expansion week, it’s like an expansion couple of hours. But I want to make it really special for them because, again, exposure leads to expansion. So I’ve been exposed to your expansion, I feel like I’m expanded. And so I want to offer that to my clients as well.

Lindsay: I love that so much. Who wants to just give their definition of what expansion means to you? Because I feel like it could be a little different for each of us. Brig?

Brig: I think for me, expansion means challenging my normal way of thinking. Like whatever those boundaries are, just to challenge it. And so for me the expansion was, for me, because I went in because you said like we could work. So I went in saying, “Oh, I’m just going to continue to work and just go.”

But for me my growth was to actually take that time off. I did my groups, but I didn’t do my one on ones. And that was expansive for me of like, no, like, I get to take a week off, tell my clients it’s okay. They’re going to be okay. And that was my growth and expansion of like I get to do this and then just relax and be and soak in all. And it felt very irresponsible, but that was like the expansion of me changing my thoughts and how I get to live and create.

Lindsay: Yes, I noticed that some of you were doing that along the week. Kind of either adding things in or clearing your schedule, canceling. And I laugh because beforehand you all wanted a lot of information that I just didn’t give you and you were like, what’s the schedule? And what’s the, what are we doing? And what do we wear?

And I just kept saying, this week is for you, right? Like you get to decide. Here are the two days, these two days are planned out, the rest of the time you get to decide like what is your growth. For some of us that’s going to be to rest the whole week. To take the whole week off to just be in the moment doing nothing else resting by the pool.

For some of us that might mean keeping our calls, keeping our schedule, you know, sticking to our calendars. Which I don’t think anyone stuck to their normal calendar 100%. But I know I worked while we were there a little bit and some of you did too. And it was so fun for me just watching each of you decide kind of what that meant for you.

Sheri?

Sheri: Yeah, so for me going into the experience I had decided ahead of time, right? So like, for me, the expansion was I didn’t know what shape or form or how I was going to receive it. I just decided ahead of time that I was going to show up for whatever it meant personally and professionally.

And much like Brig, right? Just opening myself up to experience it the way that I needed to without an agenda. And so releasing the, “Oh, should I do my calls or not?” And just deciding ahead of time and just, I mean, even since being home, it’s just the trickle effect of the expansion that just keeps coming and coming and coming.

And so I’m still processing it and I feel it and I think it’s so beautiful because I think it happened in both ways, right? Personally, just healing on my end but also as a coach and stepping into that awareness of not thinking that I need to get to the next level, but just be in that level because I am.

Thank you, Brig, thank you, Jess, I appreciate that reflection. And receiving that and then also professionally, just gaining the clarity and gaining the nuggets and like being surrounded by the energy of everyone there and living in the expansion of them as well. So it was so beautiful, thank you.

Lindsay: Jess.

Jess: I think that, so what’s best for me is best for my clients has been one of my greatest learnings in now my third round of Coaching Masters. And because of what I’ve learned from you, being able to set my schedule in a way that allows for me to feed myself, not literally, but you know like growth wise.

Lindsay: Sometimes literally, I mean, we must take time to nourish our bodies.

Jess: Tying this into even something that Jennifer said, when I expand that way, my clients only benefit from that. And so because of the way that I have set my package, set my schedule, it really allowed for me to come on this trip. And not only do that, but attend a leadership conference even prior to that, knowing that everything that I was feeding myself and nourishing myself, I didn’t have to feel stress about traveling. I didn’t have to feel guilty about taking time for me.

I had my group, much like Brig, there were other things that I had participated in. But I just feel now that I’m home, like Sheri said, I’m still processing, I’m still like harnessing all of this energy just from being around six other women who are so passionate and so driven to make an impact on the world. And you can’t help but grow or expand from that, period.

Lindsay: Brittany.

Brittany: When Jennifer had mentioned the word expansion, I don’t know, I think it was like on the first day that we were there. And I literally, I think my brain like broke because I was like, oh my gosh. It just didn’t even cross my mind and I was like, that literally is what this is.

But for me the entire week was, I’ve kind of worked around all of them at some point in my coaching career now. But being like in the same house and in the same space for an entire week, and even if we weren’t doing anything, it was just so fascinating how I could feel myself expanding just by watching all of the other people and what they were doing.

And how they were just going about their week was so expensive for me because I think I probably had some version of what life looked like for each one of them. And I was like, “Oh, this is so fascinating.” So just being in that energy was extremely expansive even without any structure, or any talking, or any coaching, or anything.

Lindsay: I love it. Kimberly.

Kimberly: I’ve said this, I think, in some comments on Instagram or just when talking individually to people, but I feel like for me the expansion was all about self-concept. And that the trip itself was both like a culmination and shifts in my self-concept to get me to that trip. And it also felt like I was kind of stepping into, like I don’t even know all the ways in which my self-concept will shift because of that, but I know it’s coming.

And what’s funny, I almost didn’t go on the trip. Like when you initially texted me about it I was like, I’m a recovering people pleaser so I was like, “Oh, I’ve already been on all these trips, I’m going to go on some, how’s my partner going to feel about that? I don’t know, we’re going to have to get a pet sitter.” And you were like, “Yes, you’ll just get a pet sitter.” You’re like, “You go, you get a pet sitter and you go.”

And now I can’t even believe, like that’s such old stuff that came up for me right then, even being asked to go. I can’t even believe I almost said no. So again, I feel like the whole trip and the work I’ve been doing within myself for a while has been like being more connected and more anchored in who I am and how I show up. And it was just a great further practice, the whole trip was that for me.

Lindsay: I love hearing all of these answers. And the thought of you not coming because you couldn’t find a pet sitter, now, after the fact, is like what? I mean, I can’t even imagine what it would have been like without you there. We would have missed you so much.

Jess, did you want to add something?

Jess: Yeah, I just want to point out that Palm Springs had to have an earthquake on the first night because it couldn’t handle all of this energy. And it had to do that, I think, just to make room for Sheri and Kimberly who weren’t quite there yet. It kind of knew, oh shit, got to do something, shake something up literally to make room for what’s about to hit.

Lindsay: It’s true. We definitely brought the power. And what was so fascinating about that is we learned a lot about each other just after the first night by the way we reacted to the earthquake. Some of us, a couple of us maybe felt it and we were like, “Not sure what that is, I’ll probably just go back to sleep.” And then a couple of you were awake for most of the night stressing that there was going to be another earthquake.

And yeah, that was interesting. It was a small one, no one was injured. But like medium, I guess. We looked it up because we were curious. Most of us don’t live in places where there are earthquakes. But yes, I love that. We talked about that the rest of the week, how Palm Springs just had to shake it up a little bit because they knew we were there.

So let’s talk about one thing I know, because several of you said this to me before going, when you were just committing to going. And then we maybe talked about it while we were there. And then it came up again before this call.

When you think about the concept of belonging and just really being the person who can say yes, who can show up to something like this not really knowing what’s going to happen. Most of you not really knowing each other. Some of you are good friends with someone who was going.

Some of you, I think everyone kind of knew at least one person whether they were in my mastermind together or know each other from somewhere else, from the coaching space. I was just so proud of you, of all of you, and of myself. I just felt like we all showed up on the first day, or people kind of trickled in the first couple of days. But it just felt like we all just showed up just knowing each other.

And I’m curious, because I know some of you did have to work through thoughts before coming, if you wouldn’t mind sharing like what were some of those? And what was your experience kind of getting to the other side of them? Or really anything you want to share about that. Brittany.

Brittany: So it’s so funny because I had to have coaching around being invited to this week. And it brought up a lot of stuff for me that I had noticed, it was kind of like the icing on the cake. It was like, oh, I’m getting asked to go on this trip. I had been asked to do a couple other things and I had been put in a book of one of my clients and all of these things.

So things were happening and it was like the icing on the cake when I received the email that says you’re invited to Palm Springs. And my brain was like, “Why am I invited?” It was very not nice in terms of my thoughts and I had to get some pre-coaching around all of my thoughts about myself of why I didn’t belong and why I shouldn’t be invited and all of that.

And I cleaned it up before I went but I will say that when I did go into it, it was like still a little bit of uneasiness for me of like all of the nerves. And I kind of know a little bit about everybody here, so it wasn’t that I was going to feel unloved or unwanted or anything around anyone. But it was just more of that like sense of fully belonging.

And it makes me emotional because when I got there it validated why all of those thoughts were just pure lies and how we still, no matter where we’re at in our business, in our life, whatever it is, that we can have those thoughts about not belonging or not fitting in in a space that really is truly completely safe. And none of the other women made me feel any way of not belonging in any way.

And so that was really just my experience of that. And I think it was so helpful because even to talk about it on the trip of just being like open about how I actually genuinely felt and some of them, you know, offered coaching around it still and just kind of made me feel at ease, even in the moment around all of my not belonging thoughts. So, thank you ladies.

Lindsay: I love it. It’s so interesting to think about that, right? Because I think in this industry where we kind of work with so many other coaches but on our own, right? We have so many colleagues, so many colleagues but work day to day on our own from our houses or wherever we’re working.

And it can be so easy to get in our heads and think like oh, I don’t belong in this space. I don’t make as much money as them. I don’t have as many clients as them. Somehow I don’t fit in, I don’t have the same certification, the same qualifications, the same whatever.

And I think that that is one thing that I worked so hard in Coaching Masters to kind of help people work through because it really doesn’t make sense, right? It’s like, what? You could come into this space with us where we are right now with no clients, and none of us on this podcast would think, “Oh, we’re different than you.” Right? That’s just not a thing that would happen.

But it is interesting when we can get in our own way about those things because of our own thoughts, right? Because of what we’re making it mean.

Jennifer.

Jennifer: So it’s interesting, I knew other coaches were coming. I only knew Brig was going because we’re friends. And the coaches that I didn’t know, I knew Sheri, I knew Brittany, but we never like connected outside of being in a mastermind together. I didn’t know Jess, I didn’t know Kimberly. But I just trusted you.

And maybe that was me not looking them up. Like I didn’t know anything about their businesses, how much money they made, or anything. And maybe me not looking them up, maybe that was like my self protection of like keeping those thoughts out so I didn’t go into compare and despair.

But I just decided to go in with no expectations. But because I trusted you and I trusted the people that you would surround yourself with, Lindsay is cool and she thinks they’re cool, then they’re probably cool. I’m just going to go with it, I’m just going to flow.

I think I know myself well enough that if I started doing my social media research and looking into different, like their websites and what do they do, and who are their clients? I probably would have concocted a bunch of unuseful stories.

Lindsay: Well, I’m glad you didn’t do that. You can do it now after the fact and have all the thoughts. Kimberly, or Sheri, whoever. Someone go.

Sheri: I think I can agree with both Jennifer and Brittany. I probably resonate a lot with Brittany’s story or idea of like the belonging piece. Because I think what I really find interesting is, you know, Kimberly and I were having a conversation via text prior to arriving. And I was just sharing with her about how anxious I was and how nervous I was. And she said, “I find that to be really interesting because you’ve known Lindsay for a long time.”

And so similar to what Jennifer was saying is like my response to Kimberly was like, “Oh, I’m not worried about Lindsay, I’m worried about me. I trust what Lindsay has created, I trust the people. Like I know the kind of people that Lindsay attracts to her and the space that she creates.”

But also the piece of this belonging, it was like I came into this and it did feel very much like, oh my gosh, I was in the presence of just like magical beings, for me, right? And holding you all up on a pedestal because I think you all are brilliant and wonderful.

And then just like even being able to be reflected and see the healing of like, oh, this is my work. I also think that about myself, but when I am surrounded around people that I love and I admire, and then how quickly I kind of diminish that part of me.

And I thought that was really interesting for me to see. And also I just want, I think it’s important to bring up here because of the coaches that will be listening to this and thinking like, hey, you are where you are and yes, there’s always room to grow. But also don’t forget to bring yourself with you as you’re going.

And I think that, for me, was really, really impactful for me to really see this belonging piece within myself because I think it goes much deeper than even just the surface level. And I think that it made some massive shifts.

Lindsay: I think it’s interesting, and I’ll talk about this, I’m going to record a separate podcast. So either you’ve already heard it because it came out before this or it’ll be the next podcast. I just think it’s interesting to see how different people react to situations like that, right?

Because for me, I rarely have the thought I don’t belong. But it’s because I think I’m really good at assimilating at just walking into any circumstance and kind of becoming whatever I need to be to fit in.

So I knew even as the person kind of leading the whole thing, that my work was to not do that, right? Was to just 100% own this is who I am. I’m going to show up how I want even when it feels uncomfortable, even when I’m maybe acting a fool and you know you all are like oh she’s just a normal person, right?

I think that that is part of the magic, is just seeing the all of us are just normal people. And even if you did know each other only from social media and only seen that more polished side of someone, you can’t really be in a house, in the same house with a person for an entire week and not see kind of all of the sides, right?

And if you are a person who’s more like me, who’s like, no, no, I can fit in by just kind of changing who I am, for an entire week that can be exhausting, right? So I just knew going in like this is my work, I’m just going to show up as me.

Brittany.

Brittany: I just want to say something to that really quick because one of my main thoughts since I left has been like, “Oh, they’re all humans.” And I was like that was really expansive for me because I don’t know what specific thoughts I had, but I was like, oh, we were really just, a lot of humanness went on this week. And I needed to see that like in real time of just like how people wake up in the morning and all of the things.

It was just so fascinating and I think that that was really like an expansion piece of me and what I may perceive of a one’s day today. So yeah, I loved all of the humanness because I think sometimes, you used the best word, like when we have this polished side of us that a lot of people see that humanness is, I don’t know, like gone or something.

And so I loved being around all of the humanness last week, I think that made it so much fun.

Lindsay: Yeah, there’s really no way not to see it, right, when I’m up looking for coffee, my teeth aren’t brushed, no bra. Like what’s happening? I just need coffee, nobody talked to me. Yeah, there was just a lot of humanness happening.

Kimberly.

Brittany: Yeah, I didn’t wear makeup like the whole week essentially. Which is very not me on the average. Like I love to do that part and I love that part of me. But like I think I wore like the same dress every day when I got up. I was like, “I’ll just put this on, it’s fine.” So I love that part.

Lindsay: I love it. Kimberly, what did you want to add?

Kimberly: It has been a narrative my whole life, a story I have believed about myself that I do not belong. Both in my personal life with friendships and my professional life and things I was interested in and wanted to do, I just always felt like the odd man out.

And it came up again when I joined Coaching Masters. As soon as we were in the Facebook group it came right up. And I got coached on it, this was last, almost a year ago. And instead of thinking I don’t belong, I was just like, “Well damn it, I just want to think that I do.”

So I started working on that thought and thinking about the expansion of my self-concept. When I remember the first time I got a like on my DM to Lindsay Dotzlaf on Instagram, the first time I remember Brig coaching in Coaching Masters and I was like, “Oh my god, it’s Brig.” I remember hearing Brittany Deer on the podcast, and when and looked her up like, “Ooh, I need to follow her.” Sheri in Coaching Masters like, “Oh, she’s done Coaching Masters before, she’s known Lindsay a long time.”

I just remember that kind of like fangirling I did. And then to watch myself going into this trip knowing that I think I make the least amount of money out of any other coach that went and none of that mattered. I just felt like part of the group because of who I am and the brain I have and the coaching that I do. It was just crazy to me the difference. All because I was just like, I don’t want to think that anymore.

So if I wanted to think I did belong and I am one of them, then how do I start showing up? And it just shifted everything for me.

Lindsay: It’s so interesting for me too, and I think that most people here would probably agree, like you made the playlist for the week, you like branded the whole week, basically. And for you to think I don’t belong in this space truly blows my mind and really shows the power of what those thoughts can do, right? And how turning them around can really put you in a position where you’re like, “Of course I belong.” And it created you belonging so much.

I mean, I literally already said this but I can’t imagine what the week would have been without you. Or without any one of you because we are all so different in our own ways and it just really made this perfect kind of I don’t know what you call it, like soup of coach soup.

Jess.

Jess: So I think, very similar to you, I fit in to most places. This is just Jess, I’m confident, I’m friendly, I’m really interested in people. But being able to assimilate to fit in and belong to me are two different things.

And as a military brat who grew up all over the world, as a soldier myself who again in adulthood has spent a lot of time moving around a lot, I think, of what has brought me to coaching is my search for where’s my place in the world? Where’s the impact that I can own and I can make? And this search for really belonging within myself.

And so being invited to this really showed me how far I’ve come. Because my initial reaction was like, “Of course, I’m fun, why wouldn’t I be?” Then I found out Brig was going and I was like, “Oh my god, I’m going to be on a vacation with Brig Johnson.”

Who I don’t even know, Brig, if I’ve gotten fully to express the impact that you’ve made on me because when we walked into that house I had gone from thinking about belonging to, well, I really like me and I belong anywhere I choose to belong. And it was just this real, this touch point of, of course that I’m invited. And of course people want to get to know me there.

And it just was one of those moments that showed this work is essentially complete for this moment. And that was pretty powerful for me. And I think a lot of times we coaches, you know, entrepreneurship and coaching can be really lonely especially when within our friends and family we don’t have that support or people don’t quite get it. Or they remember that time we got drunk and did something dumb and never want to forgive us for it.

And I loved just walking in here. And of course, we did a lot of talking about our business, but actually not really. We had lots of conversations about our families, and our upbringing, and hiking, and our origin stories of coaching and what brought us here. But not specifically a lot of business business talk.

And that, to me, just being like, these people are not only my friends, they’re my froaches, which is how I refer to friend coaches, don’t look it up on Urban Dictionary, you’ll be horrified. So all of those things were so important to me, being able to see us all as humans and have conversations even outside of the business space.

Lindsay: I love it. I loved that I could witness it and just sometimes be part of the conversation, sometimes not. Sometimes I was working or kind of doing my own thing, or resting, or whatever, having a glass of wine by myself. And it was just so fun to see that happening, right?

Everywhere I looked, there were just conversations happening. And if I could overhear them, sometimes I could depending on where you were sitting, it was so many conversations about like, exactly what you just said, like family and activities.

And there was like a lot of potty talk which is really interesting for this group. I mean, I was really surprised by that. I’m just going to call you all out now, like I don’t know what that was but my nine-year-old would have loved it. I think I said that a couple of times.

But as you can see, we had a very good time. We laughed a lot. I think even just now as I’m laughing my cheeks are still like, I can tell that I laughed for a week straight. So is there anything else that anybody wants to add to the belonging piece or anything else that you had to work through kind of coming into the week? Maybe it wasn’t belonging, maybe it was something else?

Brig. I mean I feel like, Brig, you must have had to work through like all these people are going to think I’m so amazing and have all the drama about me. Did you know that this was going to come up today?

Brig: I think a couple of people had said, “Oh my god, Brig is coming.” And so my thing was to do like what you said, which is I’m just going to be myself.

And I was having my own personal drama because we were doing a photo shoot. And the last time I did a photo shoot I was 40 pounds lighter. And so I was having my own drama about photo shoot and my body and everything.

And I just decided I’m just going to be there and love my body and get in the swimsuit and like just everything. And I remember coming out going, “I’m cute.” And it was just me, just like no, my size doesn’t determine whether or not I’m acceptable or loving, it was just like rubbing up against that. And then people expecting me to be something or that expectation of it is like I think I’ve heard, “You’re Brig Johnson” a couple of times. I was like, “Oh, I’m a two-person name.”

Lindsay: That’s funny.

Brig: Yeah, it was like it’s not just Brig, it’s like, you’re Brig Johnson. I was like, what is that? And it was just me just deciding no, I’m me. I just get to be me and just walk around like everybody else with my pajamas on and needing the coffee in my hair bonnet and doing my hair. And like I did my hair poolside.

Like I just purposely just was me. Like I even cooked because that’s me, right? Like it was just me, like I want to cook for you guys. It was like I’m just going to be me, like clean up, and cook, and joke, and yeah, just be me.

Lindsay: And listen to music. Your tried to put headphones in, I was like, no, no, we all want to hear what you’re listening to while you’re cooking.

Brig: I know, right?

Lindsay: If you want us to. And of course, it was the best playlist ever. Which I now, by the way, have and I’ve been listening to every day.

Brig: I know.

Brittany: And she was giving us all of the parenting advice for us with littles. I was like, anything she would say I’m like, I’m taking this one, I’m taking this one, she’s already done this. And literally had a meeting with a teacher the next day when I got home and I was like in my mind, “No, Brig said that’s not a big deal. She just said that’s not a big deal.” And I was like, “Yes, this is so good.” No coaching just like she’s done this, she’s raised a couple of kids.

Lindsay: I love it.

Kimberly: I am shocked to hear Brig saying this about the photos because I think every single one of us was like, “Oh please dear God, can I channel some Brig to get my photos done, when I’m getting my picture taken for the love of God.” Because watching Brig was like does she have photos done every month? Has she taken a class on how to pose and how to make these different faces and how to just look like she is the most comfortable person in the world and think she’s amazing? I’m just shocked that you had any questions whatsoever about the photos.

Lindsay: Some of my very favorite photos are the ones where Theresa, our photographer said, “Okay, everybody make faces like Brig.” And we did not nail it, Brig did in every photo. And my face, I don’t know what’s happening, just looking like I’m mad mostly or confused.

Jess: My husband literally asked me when I showed him one of those pictures, “What’s wrong with your face?” I was like, “Oh, I did not nail that.”

Lindsay: Brig, can you just share with us just one thought, like what’s happening in your mind. And for those of you that don’t know, you have to go look at Brig’s photos, she just makes the most incredible faces. And she just changes it constantly. Whereas my photography trick is like one face, that’s all I got. I’m going to give you the face and you’re either going to capture it or you’re not.

So I’m just curious, is there something that you can share that would be useful for us that’s like, this is the thing that I’m thinking when someone’s taking my photos?

Brig: It’s like I love the camera. It’s like I’m looking at the camera. It’s like, “Oh, yeah. Hi. Hi, you.” I’m flirting with the camera like, hey.

Lindsay: Okay, yeah, that’s a very different thought than I had. So yeah, just that alone, useful.

Brig: Yeah.

Lindsay: Because mine is usually more something like, are we done yet? Are we finished here? Did you get it?

Brig: Now that’s after a while. Out of all my friends that I hang out with I’m probably the one, and my friends who listen to this will laugh because I’m the one that’s like that’s enough out of the pictures. But I find I’m the opposite, like when I’m taking photo shoots for my business I have to remind myself this is for business, because half of mine are the pouty lip, sexy like no, no, wait, no, this is for business.

Lindsay: There is a very sultry face that you can turn on just in an instant.

Brig: Yes, there is, very much.

Lindsay: Teresa asked me to do that and then she said no, never mind.

Jennifer: She asked me to do the same thing. She’s like, “Can you do that thing with your lips like Brig?” And I was like, and I tried it, yeah, no.

Lindsay: Listen, we all have our strengths and that’s fine. Okay, what have we left out? Who wants to add anything to this conversation or anything that came up for you during the week that you weren’t expecting? Anything that’s come up for you since you’ve been home that has been surprising.

Or, again, something you had to work through kind of before, like going into the experience. Whether it was because of being in a group or just your own thing that you knew you were showing up with that’s like, “I want to work on this for the week.” Brittany.

Brittany: I think mine is my self-concept. I really want to just keep trickling into that from this week and build on that and like what that means for me. I think at one point when we were talking, or actually it might have been like the only in “scheduled” coaching time where we were all sitting down. And I was just like, “I want to identify what being the money mindset coach means for me. Like what that means for me and what that looks like for me.”

And so after the week I’ve just really kind of been, I’ve wrote that question down every single day and came up with a different answer every single day to kind of trickle in to create a self-concept around that based off of my expansion week. So just expanding on that.

Lindsay: Expanding on expansion, I love it. Sheri, and then Jennifer.

Sheri: Yes, so similar to Brittany is just really owning and harnessing that energy that I’ve come back with and just that self-concept of like I’ve witnessed it in my coaching since being home, like I have had some badass calls. And I’ve done some amazing coaching and I’ve gotten some clarity around what I want to create and offer.

And I think, also, here’s what one of my biggest takeaways has been, is that in the past I would have like had this clarity and been like, “Oh my gosh, I need to hurry up and get it out because it’s going to go away.” And right now I’m doing what Brittany said, like I’m journaling about it. I’m allowing it to come through. I’m not feeling the rush.

I’m feeling like, “Oh, this is my work and I’m very rooted and calm in it. And I want to create it from a space of like this energy of like, this is me, this is the coach that I am, this is what I have to offer and it’s for all of you.” Right?

And so I’m loving that piece and just really allowing myself to be in this growth that took place through expansion week, but also just like recognizing what’s coming through me and from me, and where my thoughts, my feelings, and my beliefs are about myself in it. So I love it. Thank you.

Lindsay: I love what you brought up, which is when I think about true expansion and what does that mean, like real expansion is the kind that doesn’t just go away, right? So anytime you’re having that thought, not you Sheri, but you anyone listening, anytime you’re having that thought that’s like, oh, I need to hurry up and capture it because it’s going to go away, right, or it’s like fleeting, I think that’s always an invitation to just slow down a little bit and to lean more into it, right?

To sit in it for a little bit longer and to really own this is just who I am now. Because when you’re in that space, there is, like you can’t go backwards. Once you’ve become this person there’s no like, “Oh, I have to hurry and get it out because I’m going to somehow unravel or unbecome this person that I want to be.”

So I love that you brought that up. And I think that that real expansion, I think feels very, it can feel uncomfortable. But over time it feels very grounded and like this is just who I am now, at least for me.

Jennifer.

Jennifer: So you just explained what I was experiencing perfectly because I wasn’t sure what the feeling was. But I just remember I kept looking at those mountains and I kept thinking I feel so grounded. I feel so grounded. And I was having all of these downloads and thinking about my clients, thinking about my program redesign. I just felt so grounded, like everything was just in alignment and everything was just like perfect.

And one of the things that I took away is just remembering the inspiration that comes when you change your environment. And just being in the sunshine and being out in nature and just being around you all, just literally changing the visual of what I’m looking at. I just feel like my brain opened up and I couldn’t like capture and write down all the things that I want to do fast enough. So I just felt so grounded.

And just like Sheri, yesterday I came back my group coaching, yesterday I did two group coaching calls, they were fire. I was like, “Does anybody hear the words that are coming out of my mouth right now?” And so I went back in my group today and I was like y’all need to listen to the replay if you missed this. I was like the group coaching was amazing. So I just feel like I’m on a different plane right now. And I definitely attribute that to what I experienced last week.

Lindsay: Well, I obviously love to hear that. So fun, gave me chills while you were talking. And I do agree, I did actually put some thought into this, into the physical environment of where we were going to be. And having the mountains in the background, I didn’t know it was going to be quite so perfect in that backyard with kind of the mountains right there which every morning we could just look up and it just gives you kind of perspective. I think it helps with like a grounded feeling for me.

But even Palm Springs itself, I think, is a place that’s very, there are lots of just kind of kooky people there who love to be themselves and are very, some of them, just kind have out there. And I think that part of my thought for coming into this week was like I wanted you to show up as who you are, right?

You were asking me like, “Well, what should I wear for my photos?” And my answer every time, which you guys just loved so much, was whatever you want, right? Which you kept asking thinking for sure I was going to change my mind. But I didn’t because the whole point was I wanted you to have this experience leaning into more of you, not into what you think I think this experience should be or how I think you should show up.

So I am so grateful for all of you. That week was incredible for me, you have no idea. I haven’t even told you all my takeaways yet, you’ll have to wait and hear him on the podcast, I guess, with everyone else. Maybe not, maybe I’ll send you private messages.

But thank you so much, thank you for agreeing to do this today. I feel like we are going to have a lot more to say so maybe we’ll be back and do this again. Anything anyone wants to add before we go?

Jess: I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for bringing all of us together. Thank you for everything that you put into that week to make it special, to facilitate all of these conversations and the expansion that could take place. So we appreciate you.

Lindsay: You are welcome. I was hoping we would get out of here without that because now I’m going to cry. But you’re welcome. I am just so grateful that you could all be there. And my voice was already scratchy and now it’s just going to get worse.

But I will say, everybody listening, if they want to find you we will be linking all of your information in the show notes. If nothing else, you’ll have to just follow these amazing coaches, amazing women on Instagram, wherever they are, wherever they hang out because, first of all, they have some pretty amazing photos right now. And because they are all incredible at what they do and you just need them in your life. I think that’s all, you just need all of these people in your life, just like I do.

So go find them, go to my show notes, find them, stalk them, all the things. And I will be back next week. Thank you so much, thank you everyone.

Thanks for listening to this episode of Mastering Coaching Skills. If you want to learn more about my work, come visit me at lindsaydotzlafcoaching.com. That’s Lindsay with an A, D-O-T-Z-L-A-F.com. see you next week.