Ep #35: Achieving Your Big Goals: Evaluate and Celebrate

Hey, this is Lindsay Dotzlaf and you are listening to Mastering Coaching Skills, episode 35.

To really compete in the coaching industry, you have to be great at coaching. That’s why every week, I will be answering your questions, sharing my stories, and offering tips and advice so you can be the best at what you do. Let’s get to work.

Hello my love, I’m so glad you’re here. For those of you that have kids, can we just have one moment to think about how much we love them? And also, how much we love when they stay at their grandparents for a few days. Okay, maybe it’s not grandparents. But if you have children, I just really hope you have someone in your life, even if it’s a great babysitter, that is able to take them off your hands for just a little bit every once in a while. It’s like magic.

My kids have been at my in laws for a few days this past week. And sometimes a quiet house is just really, truly magical. Especially since I know they are also having the best time. And of course, sometimes a loud house is also glorious, that’s what helps me appreciate the quiet house. It’s always the back and forth, right?

Our kids have recently made quite a few new friends in our neighborhood. And if you’re new here to this podcast you should know we just moved into our house about eight months ago in the middle of a pandemic so there weren’t many friends at first. And our old neighborhood didn’t really have many kids.

And so anyway, we have all these new friends. And now that it’s summer, the friends love to come to our house, which is amazing. And also, let me just say, I was really ready for just a little bit of quiet.

All right, that’s enough on kids. Let’s get started. So today I’m going to talk about the last steps for this creating big goals series that I’ve been doing. And yes, I said steps because I’m going to go through two today.

So just quick review, step one, start with what you already believe, leaning into the certainty of creating the goal. Step two, create a plan beginning with what is already working and what has worked in the past. Step three, decide if you want to try anything new. And today we’re going to go through the last two steps, evaluate and celebrate.

These are the two steps that everybody just loves to leave out. You finish a launch, you finish the month, you finish whatever, and it’s just on to the next thing. But these might actually be two of the most important steps. What if that was true? And if you rolled your eyes when I said celebrate – that used to be me – I’m going to give you some compelling reasons on why to include this step. But first, we’re going to start with step four, evaluate.

Okay, so I’m going to go through a really specific way that I use to evaluate my results. But you can obviously use any method you know, as long as you make me a promise, it has to include the parts that did work. Not just the parts that didn’t. That’s the part we want to leave out, which doesn’t make any sense, we have to know what did work, right?

So, specifically here is how I evaluate my results. And this can be done really anytime, either at the end, or along the way, depending on what type of process or goals you are evaluating.

And I want to be very clear, I learned this from working with my coach, Stacey Boehman. And I am sure that there are other experts out there teaching very similar things. So this is not something I created, I’m just going to share with you what I think are the most important parts to it and why I do them.

So first step, make a list of everything that worked or went well. Next step, make a list of everything that didn’t work, or didn’t go well, or could be improved on. Third, make a list of what to tweak or change for next time.

So I love doing evaluations. But I have done so many of them, so I’ve gotten really good at them and really good at doing the process. So I know my exact way forward, which is kind of the whole point of doing the evaluation. You want to know for next time, how’s it going to go? How should I do this? What should I change?

So I’m going to use my recent launch as an example. And I’m just going to read you a couple examples from my evaluation, but just know it’s much longer, much more detailed than this. I just want to give you an idea of how I do it. And remember, as always, you can always walk your clients through this type of thing. In your business, with your clients, this is an amazing exercise to do. But definitely do it on yourself first, so you get good at it before you teach it to them.

So, for my recent launch, what worked? I hit my 20-client goal. I kept going even when I had some personal circumstances pop up. I self coached when I felt my belief wavering. I followed the plan I created and allowed it to take the entire month. I remembered to celebrate.

What didn’t work? I was writing emails and posts occasionally at the last minute. The onboarding process could be smoother, better planned ahead of time. I hired a new OBM, online business manager, during the launch and didn’t have time to properly onboard her, which was a bit of a distraction. My social media content wasn’t consistent. And I didn’t create or share testimonials, even though I have a bunch.

For next time I will have more content and emails planned ahead of time. I’ll create a smoother onboarding process, including pre written emails and have my OBM, Akilah, help me manage the process. I will not make big changes in my business right before a launch. I’ll have Akilah help me put together testimonials for sharing.

Okay, so those are just a few examples. And now I want to tell you some of the kind of key ingredients I use to make the evaluation process super useful and point me in the right direction moving forward.

So first, I always start with what worked. This is such good proof for your brain, for my brain, whoever is doing the evaluation that some things did go your way. You do this even when you think you failed, you didn’t hit your goal. There are always things that did work. Don’t argue, just trust me. Find the things that worked.

Even if they seem small and insignificant at first, just maybe your brain sometimes – And remember, this is also true for your clients, right? Sometimes your brain isn’t used to thinking about this. It wants to go to what didn’t work and just solve the problems.

But what I’m telling you is you have to find the things that worked. There are always some, it’s so useful. Even in my previous launches, when I didn’t hit the number goal that I was aiming for, I would still have a really long list of what did work.

Next, when you list what didn’t work, be specific. So for example, include something like “I signed five out of 10 clients.” Or a specific number, not, “I didn’t hit the goal.” Because that’s not useful.

Try to do the evaluation from a neutral space. Think of it more like a fact finding, problem solving, improving for next time mission, not just point out all the things that were terrible. This will help you be really specific, instead of listing drama like, “nothing worked” or just “webinar was awful” or something that if you look back, you’ll be like, “Okay, but what does that mean?” If you just say, “nothing worked” or “webinar was awful” it’s really hard to also then list specifically what you’ll do different next time.

Which brings me to my last big tip, which is make sure that everything you list in what didn’t work, you have an answer for in what to do next time. So the purpose of even doing this evaluation is so that you know exactly how to move forward from here. So even if you think you will remember, you probably won’t.

So you just want to be able to look at it later and really know what to do. So the next time you’re doing a launch, let’s say, and your brain wants to freak out about what are we going to do? How are we going to do it? You have this to look back at and say, “Oh, look, there’s a list of exactly what I’m going to do differently next time.”

Now, think about this for a second, how can you use this process, or some version of it that you create, with your clients? The answer is, of course, there are a hundred different ways. But a couple of that come to mind for me right away is you can teach them how to evaluate their results. Or even their days, their weeks, their months, whatever it is depending on what kind of coach you are on their own. You can teach them how to do it.

You can have quick check ins at the beginning of coaching sessions. Like, “Tell me what went really well this week.” It doesn’t have to be a formal process, it can be like, “Oh yeah, I need to ask them what went well so we can start showing their brain that some things are working.”

Again, ask them what went really well this week. What do you want to work on next? What do you think we should focus on? You can use the concept of this evaluation and include some of those small questions, even at the beginning of each call. If you have something like a larger mastermind or a program you can also teach them how to use this process very specifically within whatever it is that you teach. There are so many options.

All right, on to the very last step, step five, celebrate. I’m going to be really honest with you. This is a step I have personally been working on for the last year or probably so much longer. I love to create goals, I love to hit goals. I also love to move right on to the next thing. Like, “Okay, check, cross that off. Let’s go, what’s next?”

But over the last year, and really, I’ve been working on it for a lot longer than that, but I’ve put a lot of focus on it over the last year, I have learned
some really important things. And so I just want to share a couple of those with you, a couple of my big takeaways. Maybe I’ll convince you to do some more celebrating.

So first, and probably the most important, you have to celebrate no matter what. Celebrations are not just for when you hit the goal and do it perfectly. That is actually pretty rare, right? Your brain is always going to find the things that went wrong, even if you hit a big goal.

Maybe you fill a launch, you sign the number of clients you want to sign, whatever it is your brain is always going to have that, “Yeah, but…” Right? Yeah, but we didn’t do this. Yeah, but they didn’t pay in full. Yeah, but… Whatever the yeah but is, it’s always going to be there.

I noticed as I’ve been working a lot more on this, one thing I really noticed is that the way I was thinking about it was almost more like an ultimatum or like a bribe for myself. That is the absolute wrong way to celebrate, don’t do it. It’s like this thing hanging over your head.

You’ve probably seen people do this before, other coaches that do it that’s like, “If I hit the goal, I’m going to buy myself this new purse.” No, by the purse, whatever. Do it anyway. And maybe it’s not the purse, right? But it’s do the thing. Find the way that you love to celebrate and do it no matter what. Celebrating the things that did go right. That did go your way, that you nailed. There for sure are some of them.

A lot of it is like that first step in the evaluation process, right? Part of the purpose here is to show your brain that there are things going your way, there are things that are working, like I just said.

If you want to get super nerdy for a minute, celebrating actually affects your neuro chemistry. So when you celebrate your achievements, no matter how big or how small, you actually are increasing the feel-good chemicals in your brain. So like dopamine, serotonin, endorphins, you are increasing all of those every time you celebrate.

So just think about that, the better and better you get at celebrating, the better your brain and body become at producing these chemicals. The better you feel more often. What do you think happens when you feel better more often? Probably, you’re better at creating results, right?

It’s just the opposite of always thinking this isn’t working. I don’t know what I’m doing. This isn’t working. I don’t know what I’m doing. It’s never going to work. Whatever the thoughts are that our brain loves to play on repeat. This is the opposite.

And our brains are made to keep us out of harm and to make things efficient, and sometimes hitting big goals, right, it’s like outside of those two things. Thinking about the things that are working, it’s outside of those things, so we have to teach our brain how to do it. Obviously, the same is true for your clients, right? When you skip this step, you miss this opportunity to feel amazing. You, your clients, whoever it is.

The second thing I’ve learned about celebrating, there is no right way and there’s no wrong way. You have to find the way that you love to celebrate, that resonates with you. So maybe you’ve seen your friends or other coaches or other whoever celebrating and you think like, “Oh, that’s what I’m supposed to do. This is what it’s supposed to look like.” That’s not true, it’s supposed to look like whatever feels great to you. The point of the celebration isn’t for anyone else, it’s just for you.

Celebrating can be super simple. It can be taking time out of your day to just really think about how you feel, how you nailed parts of your goal. You could even go for a walk, or do some dancing, or just like moving your body in that moment while you’re thinking about these things. And just really help solidify these thoughts of like, “Oh, pieces of this are working. I’m doing it, I’m learning.”

It can also be more extravagant, right? So you might love a fancy bottle of champagne, or a weekend away, or whatever that looks like for you. Again, doesn’t matter. Maybe it is something relaxing. Maybe that’s what you like, like a massage or a long bath. This can be something you include any time for small celebrations, for big celebrations, right?

You just have to find the thing that resonates with you and go with it. It doesn’t matter what you choose, it just matters that you find the time to include it in your plan and find the method of celebrating that you love.

What you are doing in that moment is you are choosing to take the time for yourself to really sear that feeling and those thoughts, really sear them into your brain. That feeling of accomplishment. It’s like you’re implanting a tiny little piece of like, no one can take this away from you. It’s an accomplishment, you did it. I don’t care if your celebration is, “You know what? I showed up today.” Sometimes, that’s it. Sometimes it’s just the tiny things.

So what I want to leave you with, and kind of the last thing I want to say is just remember, you are a coach, right? You’re a life coach, a health coach, whatever kind of coach you are. Not 100% of your job is just helping your clients reach their goals. Of course, that’s what you’re doing, that’s what you’re selling. And hopefully, you are helping them reach their goals, right? If not, I have a mastermind for that.

But really think about this, it’s not just the reaching the goals. It is helping them feel better along the way. Helping them know how to love themselves through all of it. Helping them know how to just feel good, to have this life that they want. If that is what you are selling, just make sure you’re doing it for yourself too. So when you’re thinking about goals and you’re thinking about even big goals in your business, evaluate, be kind to yourself, and please spend at least a little bit of time celebrating.

All right, this was the last episode in the series of hitting a goal. I hope that they were super helpful. Let me know what you think. I can’t wait to hear your feedback. And I talk about stuff like this in my mastermind, we take it to the next level. We talk all things around helping your clients set goals and helping them hit the goals.

And when this podcast comes out, my mastermind either is open for applications or is about to be. So if you’re interested, go to my website, click on work with me and find all of the information there. If not just keep listening to the podcast and I’m just going to keep delivering helpful, helpful things for you, for your business, and for your clients. Love you. See you next week. Bye.

Thanks for listening to this episode of Mastering Coaching Skills. If you want to learn more about my work, come visit me at lindsaydotzlafcoaching.com. That’s Lindsay with an A, D-O-T-Z-L-A-F.com. see you next week.